LeeYa's precious moments...

So I lift up my eyes....

2008-08-11T10:01:00.002-05:00

How comforting!

Psalm 121
1 I raise my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.
4 Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.
5 The LORD protects you;
the LORD is a shelter right by your side.
6 The sun will not strike you by day,
or the moon by night.
7 The LORD will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
8 The LORD will protect your coming and going
both now and forever.

Resting on His unchanging grace.....

2008-08-07T06:33:00.007-05:00

It all started the minute the plane I was on landed in Jakarta. It was Tuesday afternoon on June 3, 2008.

My brain worked like an old VCR rewinding the tape to the very first time I left Indonesia for America to study. It was 8 years ago. It seemed so long ago, yet the memory is still so vivid in my mind.

I was 19 when I moved to America. I remember crying myself to sleep on my first night in Wichita, Kansas because I was scared of what's gonna happen. I was in a total foreign land not knowing anybody. My parents were with me, but I knew they were going to leave me soon. They assured me that it's gonna be OK.

My fear turned out to be a blessing. America is definetely where God changed my life radically. My eyes were opened. I was exposed to people from different nations with different backgrounds and beliefs, and that's when God grabbed hold of my heart.

A heart for evangelism was formed.
A vision was born.

It wasn't long until I graduated and God moved me away to a new place for a new job. It was hard in the beginning, BUT AGAIN, God was faithful. I loved (and I still do when I think about it now) the job I had at the Seminary. I had never thought I would love a job that much until I was at Midwestern. Though there were challenges, but it was TOTALLY rewarding knowing that it was for the Lord. I loved the church I went to and the ministries I was involved in. I loved the prayer meetings I had with the girls and of course the sweet friendships I made.

And, again it wasn't long until God moved me away again to my homeland. Not a completely new place to some people, since this is where I was born and raised. However, having been a way for 8 years, trust me! It's different.

So, I am facing the reality of many changes in my life as of late.

Job title: from Director of Communications to a Total Bum.
Residence: from America to Indonesia.
Church home: from Antioch Bible Baptist Church to "Not sure yet."
Time zone: from "Central Time Zone" to "Waktu Indonesia Barat."
Radio station: from K-LOVE or Calvary to "is-there-even-a-Christian-FM?" radio station.

As I'm writing this entry, I am reminded that it's all about Him and for His glory. Circumstances do change. Family and friends do fail us from time to time. Job title change. But, I know my God has never changed.

As I escaped to that place that allows my soul to breathe and rest and reflect, with His still small voice God reassured and confirmed that He has everything under control.

As I dropped the "yucks" the world and people hand me, He traded them for the fullness of Him.

And as that old hymn that I love says, "On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand," so my soul says, "And, I will not be moved!"

In Christ alone,
lee ya

The Solid Rock
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Chorus:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

DADDY's girl.....

2007-10-02T17:56:00.000-05:00

One thing that I really love about my job is when I get to attend chapel services every Tuesdays and Wednesdays. God often uses that time to really speak right into my heart and open my eyes real big on certain things.

Points after points; illustrations after illustrations; testimonies after testimonies; today, it all came down to one - it is all about the ressurection. Nothing on earth can ever compare to our Heavenly Father's love.

It still amazes me until this very day that my Heavenly Father's love toward me and all His children is the same today, tomorrow and forever. I hear people say certain things like "Oh, she's definetely a daddy's girl" or "Here comes Mommy's girl." Sometimes I wonder which category I would fall into, although I may very well end up in neither one of those :)

I once read an article that it is human's tendency to have what is so-called "favorites" without realizing it. The article went on saying that even parents, although they do not admit it, have their favorite kid(s).

Today, God gave me a great reminder that unlike most earthly parents, He doesn't have His - let's say top 10 - favorite kids. To Him, we are all DADDY'S boy and DADDY'S girl. And, I thank God for that, because I know, with my own strength, if there's ever be a favorite list, I would never be able to make it there.

"It is all in God's hands...."

2007-09-03T10:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is all in God's hands... This is a very "famous" phrase of a seminary student that I know.... Throughout summer I was constantly reminded that "it is all in God's hands..."

Growing up in a Christian family, this is definetely something that is supposed to be engrained in me. Not that I do not believe that "it's all in God's hands," but to put it in application is certainly very difficult.

This summer, God gave me a wonderful opportunity to go back to my home country, Indonesia. I was able to see so many great things happening back home. I was able to be with my parents, meet my grandmas and relatives. I was given a privilege to serve at Jakarta Baptist Theological Seminary, lead worship at the church where I grew up, and I had to get my VISA thing straightened out. During those experiences,God had streched me a lot. But, He definetely showed me that "it's all in God's hands..."

These past two weeks, I have pondered upon few thoughts, and God brought me to that phrase again... "It's all in God's hands." I trust my God for every situation I have in my life. I know I serve a big and mighty God. And, although it is hard to comprehend what is going to be the outcome, I truly know "it's all in God's hands..."

FIVE things.....

2007-05-31T23:09:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by a friend who did this thing.... So, here goes....

5 Things Found in Your Bag
- cell phone
- wallet
- sunglasses
- kleenex
- keys

5 Things Found in Your Wallet
- pictures
- cash
- credit cards
- business cards
- Driver's License

5 Favourite Things in My Room
- my precious keyboard!
- my comfy bed
- my closet :)
- my piggies
- my computer

5 Things You've Always Wanted To Do
- be able to play the piano well and lead worship at the same time
- eat :)
- go back to school :)
- know how to speak chinese
- go on missions trip

5 Things You've Currently Into
- learning how to play the keyboard!
- walking with Alyssa!
- facebook? :)
- BABY (my precious puggy!)
- shopping

5 People You Will Tag
- Jennifer Hendra
- Melissa Hendra
- Alyssa Davis
- Whitney Shafer
- Amy Gilmore

reflection - this weekend, a year ago....

2007-05-19T15:10:00.001-05:00

so, i went to the graduation reception at Midwestern last night. i came very late, because i actually didn't feel like going. but, i got a phone call, so i thought, yeah, i probably should go... so, i did... i was looking at the tables that were set up by the white house and i spotted a table where i sat a year ago.

yes, exactly a year ago, i sat at that particular table with my portfolio in hand interviewed by the president. it was a very quick interview.

today, i went to the graduation ceremony. i was there to work. i took pictures and jotted some things down for my story. as i listened to the speaker, my mind did wander - thank God for recorder! i'll just have to listen to it on monday at work to write my story :). i remember myself sitting in the graduation ceremony exactly a year ago thinking where God is taking me after this. at that time, i was a fresh graduate as well. it was a week after my own graduation. to make the long story short, last year today, i was offered the job i'm in right now....

i can't believe that it has been a year since i was offered the job. things did move very quickly. but, i'm glad things happened the way they are. God really know what's best for me. yesterday and today are moments of reflection for me. i'm still standing amazed of Him. i'm serving a great Master and i'm loving every minute of it....

a huge blessing...

2007-05-07T16:21:00.000-05:00

I got a keyboard last night! That's a huge huge huge blessing for me. I have been playing the keyboard and leading worship at the same time ever since I moved to K.C.

Pretty strange for some at The Mission :) Friends in Wichita KNOW that I don't play. But, it's happening!

I thought about buying one a few months back for me to practice at home, but it's pretty pricey. Plus, I don't even know what kind of keyboard I should get. I did pray about getting one, but I wasn't really serious to look for one. Two weeks ago, I started desiring to have a keyboard more. And last night, I got it! Someone gave it to me! That's just amazing! God is so good and this is just too good to be true! Praise the Lord!

standing amazed....

2007-04-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

Never had I dreamed or even thought I would reach this stage. It's strange, but it's happening. And, it's for real....

Nine months ago I made a decision to step out of my comfort zone and really walk by faith by moving to Kansas City. I moved to America from Indonesia six years ago, so I thought, "How hard could it be?" Plus, Wichita is only three hours away - I can always go back. It's sad to say, but I was so wrong! For some people, moving isn't a big thing at all. Some may take it as an adventure. My family and friends know that I'm a planner. I usually have at least a year plan of my life. As much as I love suprises, when it comes to life, I would settle for the expected ones. A little boring for some, perhaps. But, certainly not for me.

I can say the past nine months have been good, but definetely challenging. Not having a church home is very frustrating. I have missed leading worship. In fact, I have missed it SO SO SO much that I can't even describe it. Sometimes I tell my friends how much I miss it, but I don't know if they can even feel what I feel - how much I long to do that. I love worship. I still do believe God calls me in that area. I don't dare to limit Him to call me to a bigger stuff, but I love it so much that my heart just burns to do that...

Nine months I asked, and I still do now...
Nine months I seeked, and I still do now...
Nine months I knocked, and I still do now...
Nine months I prayed, and I still still do now...
All for a place to serve....

The Lord hears my cry... He answers me....
Doors have been opened....
His face I found....
My prayers He answered...

God is good! Today is a day when I just feel so very excited - excuse me for a bad grammar *wink* I don't know how I got this excitement from, but I'm very sure that it is from Him. I still don't know what is going to happen on the days ahead, but...

Today is a day when I can look back and say, "Lord, now I know why you moved me here.." Today is a day when I say to myself, "Did I say that 'Lord, I know why you moved me here'?"
Today is a day when I am convinced that the grand plan is yet to be revealed....
Today is a day when I can take a deep breath and say, "Yes, God is faithful" with a smile on my face....
Today is a day when I can say, "thank you all for your prayers, because I can see His hands working so well in my life."

I once told a friend that I felt like my life's full of rain. It kept raining that I don't even know if I would be able to see a rainbow in the end. My friend answered me, "Do you have to see the rainbow?"

God made me realize that the rainbow has been there all this while.

I once was "lost," but now I'm so lost in the rivers of His love. I'm swept into the power of His presence... And, here I am standing amazed..... of Him...

2007-04-08T01:47:00.000-05:00

if only i knew, i would have fought for it harder...

i'm back....

2007-04-03T20:32:00.000-05:00

I'm not a faithful blogger, apparently! :) It's been a while since I wrote... Things have been awesome here! I never knew I would reach this mode ever! But, God has sure been so faithful! Lots of prayers have been answered... I'm so blessed!

ps: Oh, by the way, I'm on facebook now! Haha! I can't believe that's happening either! lol :)

another answered prayer....

2007-03-04T00:20:00.000-06:00

My family and some of my friends know that I went through ups and downs for the past months in regards to my working visa. I wasn't at ease in the beginning, but God has shaped and molded me that I was finally at a complete peace on whereever He wants to locate me geographically. I reached the point where either I stay back here in the U.S. or go home, it'll be just fine. Both places really offer great things.

So, Amelia prays.

She had her whole family stood by her as prayer warriors; she had her family at The Mission to pray for her; She also had some people in K.C. to lift her up as well.

My request was only one: for God to show me CLEARLY where I'm supposed to be.

So, the visa application process started in late January. I had been meeting and consulting with an attorney since October. Things looked like it wouldn't work out for me to stay in the U.S., because the working visa quota is full and won't be open again until Oct. 2007, while my visa expires Jun. 1, 2007.

To make the long story short, in late January we found out that we could still try to apply for it. So, we started the process.

Feb. 20, 2007, we finally filed the application. I was constantly reminded that it was "a bit" to late for me to apply for teh visa knowing that my own visa expires in just a few months. And, I was not supposed to find out whether I'm approved or not until late May or even June.

Feb. 28, 2007, I got an email from my attorney saying, "Amelia, when God works on your side, you get a special treatment." That is exactly his line. Just within eight days, God showed me VERY CLEARLY that I am supposed to stay here in the U.S. My attorney couldn't even believe how fast it was for the government to give us the approval, since we didn't pay for the premium processing service, which would have costed us another $1,500.

So, I rejoice for the fact that He shows me where I'm supposed to be.
So, I rejoice for the fact that He once again proves that His promises never fails.
So, I rejoice for the fact that His timing is always perfect.
So, I rejoice for the fact that He's not through with me yet.

Thank you, Lord! I give all the glory to You!

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing - Chris Tomlin

a wonderful answered prayer....

2007-02-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

When I first found out that there was a vacancy at the place I work now, I remember myself getting down on my knees at one prayer meeting with The Mission specifically praying for a church or body of believers where I get get connected with. Although I had not gone to the interview yet, I somehow felt that God was moving me to K.C.; that I had to leave Wichita - my comfort zone. Three days after that I learned that the job was offered to me.

I have never stopped praying for that specific request to this very day. After praying and searching; and searching and praying; and praying and visiting; and visiting and talking to people; I found myself actually liking this church that I have been going to for the past month. I told God that I was not in a rush, while I actually was and still am - it just drives me nuts not to have a place to serve! But God just began to unpack a lot of things from week to week to me.

I went to the girls' bible study today. And, I just loved it! I loved it so very much - excuse my grammar :) They all are around the same age as me. They are so passionate about the Lord. They strongly believe in holding each other accountable. As we shared with each other today, things just began to click! I can never thank God enough for what He's doing in my life! Things were rough before, but now I know that I had to walk that path. I know I had to endure those sufferings. I know I had to be still and know that He is God. I know I had to be on my knees constantly.

As His plan starts unfolding, I'm getting more excited with what's going to happen down the road. Although I may feel that my journey in Kansas City has just begun, it actually has started about seven months ago. And I know that God has walked with me side by side, hand in hand, from strength to strength. My life in K.C. is really a character-shaping, get-to-the-down-low deal. I tell ya, although it is bitter-sweet at times, it is definetely much much much better-still than ever!

Lord, I just pray that when I see You face to face one day, You will wrap Your arms around me and say, "Well done, Lee Ya!" Help me to be faithful. If I have to be "grilled," I pray that You "grill" me to the perfection. That You'll be honored and glorified. I love You, Lord! Amen...

Child Dedication...

2007-02-05T21:20:00.000-06:00

There was a child dedication at church on Sunday. As I sat and watched each child being dedicated, I found myself flashing back to years and years ago when my sisters and I were dedicated to the Lord by our parents.

I guess I was 8 years old then when I was dedicated. I was a little older for a child dedication thingy, but I think that was the first child dedication that was ever done at my church back home. It is still clear in my head that the three of us with mom and dad walked to the front. The pastor prayed for us and our parents. He prayed that we would accept the Lord one day when we grow up; he prayed that God would use us abundantly. My parents then vowed that they would bring us up in a godly way and teach us about the Lord.

I'm glad that my parents took that step. I'm not saying that I live a perfect Christian life right now; not at all. However, I do hope, strive and pray daily that I would walk in His path; that I stay in His sovereign plan.

I truly thank the Lord for the parents I have; for the life lessons they have given me; for their continued prayers; for their support and definetely for who they really are. I know my sisters would feel the same way too.

As I watched those babies being dedicated, I do pray that one day they invite the Lord to come into their hearts and rule their lives. I also do pray that one day I get to do what they do...

2007-01-27T00:02:00.000-06:00

My job has been posted for three days :)

We'll find out... :)

Pictures from last weekend....

2007-01-26T23:38:00.000-06:00

It was a fun and relaxing Friday night. We just cooked and cooked and cooked. Then we all ate and ate and ate. Very typical Chinese lifestyle? Perhaps! Except that I don't know how to speak the language... Oh well!

Oh my goodness! The amount of food that we had... Oh, Lord! We're so blessed!

Because I've got YOU...

2007-01-17T23:15:00.000-06:00

Exactly today six months ago, I woke up with butterflies in my stomach.
Exactly today six months ago, I entered a whole new world I've ever experienced in my life.
Exactly today six months ago, I had a brand new commitment in my life.
Exactly today six months ago, I got to meet so many different people.
Exactly today six months ago, everything that I read in my textbooks became real.
Exactly today six months ago, I was employed.

Wow! Somehow I still can't believe how fast time passed by. Looking back to the past six months that I've been living, I know that I have made it this far only because He's been through it all with me. There are certainly many challenges; but I can definetely testify the Lord's goodness and grace have been sufficient. God has brought me to a whole different level of commitment.

With all these being said, I know that I can do it because I've got You. I know that when things get rough, I've got You. I know those good days that I have were given for me to taste because I've got You. And, I know that I am blessed because I've got You!

2007-01-11T16:23:00.000-06:00

The sign is clear. I have my mind made up. I pray that God continues to open the next few doors in front of me as He sees fit.

new year's resolution(s)?

2007-01-07T16:17:00.000-06:00

I once told my friends that I want to make a list of the so called Amelia Hendra's New Year Resolutions, simply because I've never had a list made! Never! So, that was kinda my new year resolution - making a new year resolution - if that makes sense. I even told them that I would make up a list just to go with the crowd. Everybody has one, so miss amelia should have one too! :)

This week I've been sick literally all week - didn't go to work, didn't go to church (man, I feel so convicted when I woke up this afternoon!). There were times when I really sat down and really tried making up a list. Guess what! It didn't work! Haha! Well, no matter what Amelia is still Amelia, isn't it? Well, not that I'm not motivated or anything to achieve a goal or perhaps goals this year, but speaking out of my own experience I find that whatever I had planned didn't match with what I've gotten or experienced.

For some reasons, God has taught me a BIG FAT lesson over the past few years. What I've learned through my personal devotions, sermons and group bible studies has actually come alive - my plan is certainly not His plan! He has brought my numerous last minute's surprise gifts that made me go, "WOW, GOD!"

This is really nothing against those who have made a new year's resolution. I still do believe that it's good for us to make up a list of goals that serves as a reminder for the year. And trust me, somehow I still wanna make up a list just so that I can tell others, "Oh yeah, I've made a list before!" :)

So this week, although I was sick and weak, my relationship with God has grown deeper. I was really fed with His Word - and it's amazing! I'm so content! And this year and the years ahead, my 'resolution' would be to become.... "a lady after His own heart!" And I pray that I may come to know Him, grow in Him and love Him more and more every minute of my life. Oh Lord, I'm so in love....

Oh by the way, I think I do need a second resolution! "I MUST LOSE WEIGHT!" And this is for real! Whewww, at least now I can tell others that "Oh, yeah! I did make up a new year's resolution before!"

Healing rain is coming down...

2007-01-05T15:09:00.000-06:00

Again, God laid this song on my heart. Lord, I pray for Your healing rain. Come wash us with Your mercy! Come sing with me!

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain

Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the Great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain
To be washed in Heaven's rain...

Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid...

Christ, You are my solid Rock!

2007-01-05T13:21:00.000-06:00

During this situation I'm constantly reminded of His grace in my life. Somehow God often speaks to me through songs. This morning I was brought to this old hymn that we use to sing at church back home "The Solid Rock." I personally love the chorus.

This is my third day staying home. I'm still recuperating from the flu. God has once again shown me when I'm on my weakest mode, He is strong. God has spoken to me in a lot of ways. He also keeps reminding me that His arm is streched out to give me love and comfort through my brothers and sisters in Christ. Yesterday the girls at office came by and brought me some orange juice, a box of kleenex (Ha! How do they know I almost ran out of it?), ritz crackers, some medicines and a sweet card. Today, I got some more stuffs! Chicken soup and a bunch of Christian movies! And as I was finishing up this entry, someone knocked on my door. It was a FedEx lady. I got a card from my bros and sisters in Wichita. Oh, how I'm blessed! You guys have no idea how much I appreciate your love and care! Thanks a lot! Without God and all of you, I couldn't make it this far....

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Father, heal my mommy....

2007-01-04T22:25:00.000-06:00

So this morning I woke up receiving a text message from my sis, Jennifer, saying that mom is now in the hospital in jakarta due to dengue fever. Her white blood cell count was only 20,000 when she was admitted to the hospital. Apparently, it dropped to 18,000 after that. I'm so worried. She is by herself in Jakarta, because the rest of our family is in Surabaya. My mind is just with her constantly. How I wish I was there in Jakarta to be with her.

This evening my sister told me that the doctor had undergone a blood transfusion. Her WBC count is now 19,000. Slow progress, but I know she is in God's hands. I trust the Lord to be the Greatest Physician!

"Lord, I pray for healing!"

You have clothed me with joy and gladness...

2007-01-03T22:43:00.000-06:00

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever....

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
(Chris Tomlin - Forever)

I remember singing that song on new year's eve with heavy tears...
I remember singing that song on new year's eve with my heart aching...
I remember singing that song on new year's eve on my knees...

Not because I didn't believe that God was faithful at that time, but because I knew that the Lord's name will be glorified through all these situations that I have with my family. Not because I didn't believe that God was strong when everybody was sick, but because I knew that when I'm on my weakest knees, He is strong. Not because I didn't believe that God was with me, but because I knew He was holding me tight with the palm of His hands saying, "Stop crying, My daughter. Let Daddy take over!" Not because I didn't believe that His love endures forever, but because I couldn't comprehend how He endured those pains in the Calvary when I was really hurt that night.

This evening I got to talk to my mom and she told me that things have gotten so much better! My grandma is doing better. Melissa is released from the hospital. And, my dad is progressing very very well!

On new year's eve I was overwhelmed with sorrows. And right now I'm overwhelmed with the joy that the Lord gave me! God's promise has never failed! "You have turned my mourning into dancing" (Psalm 30:11).

I know when he said that "all things will work out for good for those who love Him and those who are called according to His purpose;" He really wasn't joking. My God knows what He's talking about. My God knows what He's doing. And my God is a Man of His own Word!

For those of you who read this entry and don't know or don't have a personal relationship with the God (Jesus) I'm talking about; I hope this entry will touch your heart, open your eyes to the Truth, and move you to accept Him as Your Lord and Savior.

For those of you who already have a personal relationship with the Lord, I hope this entry encourages you to keep your faith in Him and share the GOOD NEWS to others.

Friends, thanks for praying! Thanks for your e-cards, e-mails, text messages and phone calls. I'm sure my family appreciates those too! "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. " James 5:16 (NASB)

And I will be still....

2007-01-02T22:22:00.000-06:00

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm.
Father, You are King over the flood. I will be still and know You are God."

This song is stuck in my head for the past few days. A lot of times I don't understand why things happen the way they are. My family members are physically not well at the moment. Both my dad and my youngest sister, Melissa, are in the hospital affected by dengue fever. Jennifer was sick too a couple days ago with similar symptoms. Melissa was admitted to the hospital on Dec. 31.

As I was getting ready to prepare for new year's eve service, I got a text message from Mom saying that my dad had to stay in the hospital too because his condition is even worse than Melissa's. Mom also asked me to pray for her, because she's having the same symptoms too. I couldn't contain my sorrow anymore that time. I was balling! I told Him more and more that I just couldn't take it anymore. I was overwhelmed. My only prayer was, "God, heal my family!"

This morning I got a text mesage from Mom saying that my grandma had to be out in the ICU because she got a heart attack. My mind is just at home now... How I wish I was there to help or do whatever I can.... Those of you who read this entry, I really covet your prayers. I know things happen for a reason. And mostly I know that God is in control. The Devil won't bring me down or keep me from serving my sovereign Lord because of all these incidents.

Somehow I'm always brought back to my life verse Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work for good for those who love Him, for those who are called according to His purpose." Amen!

Follow Me, Lee Ya!

2006-12-21T15:06:00.000-06:00

Wow, Lord! I'm so overwhelmed with Your grace! Been listening to this song called "God of All Creation" by Hillsong United over and over again at work, in my car, or anywhere I can listen to my music since Monday. This is really a song that I can relate to right now.
I'm totally abandoned to You
I'm lost inside the rivers of Your love
I'm swept into the power of Your presence
Drawn toward the whisper of Your voice

I come to You in quiet adoration
And fall before Your feet You are my King
I'm living for the beauty of Your Presence
To behold the glory of Your face
This is so real right now to me. God has spoken to me in His magnificent ways these few days. Just when I need it the most, He really wraps His arms around me, comforts me with His Word and picks me up from the ground.

On Sunday, He promised me through Psalm 34 that He is always close to me. He promised me that He even will guard my bones that none of them will be broken. I finally gave up, washed my hands from all these, and let Him take over.

On Monday, He really showed me that He, indeed, TAKES OVER. I was on my last chapter of John for my devotional that night and God reminded me again how He asked Peter three times, whether he loves Him. Peter, of course, said yes.

I totally felt like God was asking me again, "Lee Ya, do you love Me?" I felt moved, uneasy, uncomfortable with that question. At the back of my mind I was like "Yeah, God? What are You talking about?"

The second time He asked, my heart was really stirred.

The third time, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was balling really hard as I read the passage. I felt so convicted. I felt like I've cheated Him all along. When I said, "I love You, Lord," did I really mean what I said? Did I say it with all my heart? Or, did I just pray with ignorance thinking that yeah, I love Him?

At the end, He said "Follow Me!" And right at that moment, I know. I just know the answer to my big question all this while. God is really telling me that it's really not for me to know what He is up to with my situation. I somehow felt like Peter when he asked God what's going to happen with John when he died? And God answered him, "..... what is that to you? You must follow Me." I could really identify with Peter. I'm very nosy as a person. I want to know about everything. Most of my friends said I'm very detailed. But God was telling me that it's really not my business. All I have to do is follow Him.

My God is a great God with a great mind and a great plan. The Holy Spirit is just so real. He's so real that I'm now just lost in His love. I'm totally in awe.

He challenged me with one big question, "Do you love Me enough to trust in me and follow Me even when you don't know where I'm taking you?"

Yes, Lord! I love You. I love You enough to trust my life in You. I love You enough to let You take over my life. I love You enough to let You be my navigator. I love You enough to give You the freedom to work in my life however You want it to be. Let my life be Yours and You be the reason I live. Amen.

longing for You...

2006-12-17T15:37:00.000-06:00

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He guards all his bones;
Not one of them is broken.
Evil shall stay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trusts in Him shall be condemned. "
Psalm 34:18-22 NKJV

I came across this passage again last night as I spent time with Him.
I know I serve a great and mighty God.
He is definetely a very present help in time of need.

"My soul longs for You, Lord. Nothing else will do. I seek Your face; I seek Your hand; I seek Your strength; I seek Your wisdom. I lift both my hands up. Father, take over and be the reason that I live. All I need is You. Amen"

a merry little christmas for miss amelia...

2006-12-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

Wow! Was today busy or what? I was frantically working on next year's departmental budget with my office's door closed. Doing budget is really something that a lot of people - including me!- don't like! This is really the time of the year when everything is just due! But you know what! I thank God for those! Because that means I have a job! Isn't He great!

Today was really my 'running around day.' Went out with the girls after work and didn't get home till about 9:40ish... Baby wasn't happy at all... She really gave me that look! It's just funny how dogs get to "rule" in the house...

Despite the running around thing today, today is actually a fabolous day for Miss Amelia! Christmas invitations keep coming; and boy, I'm booked up for Christmas!

I was actually a little down since last night knowing the fact that my sisters are headed home this weekend and my girlfriend Jasmine is too! It seems like everyone is going home for Christmas. I'm feeling a bit homesick!

But, God -once again- proves to me His unfailing promise! He said He'll never leave me or forsake me! And He gave other fellow believers that are very gracious to offer me their homes to spend Christmas at! Am I still homesick? Yeah... But, am I blessed? Absolutely! All I can say is thank You, Lord!
And once again I look upon the Cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life! (Matt Redman)

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

2006-12-10T22:38:00.000-06:00

This is my mom - a woman that I deeply love, respect and honor.....
She is a true illustration of Proverbs 31.
Happy Birthday, mom!
Hope three of us make you proud as a mom!

From a grateful heart...

2006-12-09T21:43:00.000-06:00

The girls came from Wichita today. I really had a great time with them strolling the city market, eating vietnamese food and just enjoying each other's company. I thought, "hey, it's gonna be a relaxing weekend!"

It wasn't 'till later today - through a very casual conversation, while waiting for the three girls going to the restroom - when I found out that M was headed home for good next week. I was surprised!

I began to feel disturbed. I knew she was seeking God all along. After doing a series of investigations today through the other girls, I also found out that she had been bitter with God. When God is faithful, why did she have to experience the loss of her parents? This question stuck in her mind all the time.

After our little dessert time at Cheesecake Factory today, I was praying hard. I told God that this girl cannot leave the country without Jesus. I just cannot imagine that.

So, I prayed for boldness.
So, I prayed for courage.
So, I prayed for God's will to be done.

We, then, went to IHOP (International House of Prayer). I just "happened" to sit by her. The other girls were praying. I was flipping my bible's pages looking for verses to show her. I was praying hard. Somehow I knew I had to do something about it. But then, God, how should I open the conversation? I prayed for God's wisdom and guidance.

The next thing I know, I asked her if there was anything I could pray for her. Where did that come from? A simple question, perhaps, but what took me so long to begin a conversation? I have no idea!

She began to look at me in the eye and said, "maybe pray for my finals."
I was waiting for more; but she stopped.
I thought, "Eh? Great! What should I say next?"

So, I took a deep breath and thought, "this is it, God! I'm not here to chase the rabbit. The floor is Yours" So, I asked God to take over. And, HE really did! HE did it amazingly!

She finally accepted the Lord today! She thought she had accepted Him when she was young. I went over the plan of salvation again with her today. She, then, learned that she has never prayed the prayer to invite Him to her heart. God gave me the privilege to lead her to Him today.

She did ask me why God had to take her parents away from her.
I told her I don't know.
I told her I don't have the answer for that.

All I know is that God is sovereign.
All I know is that God let this happened to her for a reason.
All I know is that everything will be beautiful in the end.
All I know is we have hope.
And, all I know is God's name will be glorified through these sufferings and hardships.

I told her that God never said that life is going to be easy; but for us Christians, He promised that He will never leave us alone.

I shared with her my favorite verse from Romans 8:28 "And all things work together for good for those who love Him and those who are called according to His purpose." I shared with her my experience living on my own in Kansas City and how it's sometimes hard.

She finally nodded and held my hand.

What a wonderful time we had with her!
What a fruitful trip they have!
What a mighty God we serve!

And Father, this is what I pray.....
My father I adore You more than
anything my heart could wish for
I just want You
And Jesus my beloved savior
Everything I am I owe to You
I owe it all to You

And angels come and adore You
And we Your children worship You

You are my world
You are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord
The one I love
No one could ever take Your place

And everything I have I give to You
My Lord, the One I live for
I live for You
And all my days are gifts from You
I pray I'd use them as You want me to
Use them for You
(Hillsong Australia)

Oh, I feel good!

2006-11-29T16:52:00.000-06:00

Today's weather is unbelievably terrible in KC. We have bad, bad, bad - I know it's redundancy plus bad grammar, but hey! I'm not at work now :) - ice storm. The good thing is they let us out early! I was out of the office since 2:30 p.m. That is a miracle! I still can't believe that this is happening. I was actually - literally - out of the office before the official shut down time? This is ain't right!

I still remember clearly how I felt when my professors let us out early or cancelled classes back in those days. I still remember the satisfaction, the overflowing joy, and the "yeah!" feeling I had being a student!

And brothers and sisters, believe me, those feelings were nothing - yeah! nothing! - compare to what I feel today! I mean I was able to go home early and being paid; eventhough I wasn't at work? Oh, how I'm suddenly infatuated with the idea of "working" instead of "schooling!"

I tell ya', mom is right! There's certainly something we can praise God for each and everyday!

I'm gonna curl up with Baby the whole night!

Now I wish I had a fireplace!

What would I do without You?

2006-11-27T22:05:00.000-06:00

So I had to drive back from Wichita to KC last night after a great weekend with my sisters and friends.

So I had to go back to my routine of waking up early in the morning, getting ready for work, saying "bye" to Baby, locking my apartment, going down the stairs, pulling out of the car port, 'flying' to work, stopping at two traffic lights, pulling in to the work's parking lot, opening my office's door, turning on my PC, reading my Bible, saying a morning prayer, checking my e-mails, getting through my to-do list for the day, closing my office's door, pulling out of my work's parking lot, driving back to my apartment, pulling in to the car port, going up the stairs, unclocking my apartment, greeting Baby, sitting down and finally catching my breath...

A co-worker a.k.a mentor finally told me today that I've got to slow down. She's definetely not the first one to say that. So she said, "Amelia, you push yourself too hard. Give yourself sometime. Let your hair down.." And, It really got Amelia thinking.

God has opened doors for me throughout my life that I just could never envisioned. From coming to America to study, to going to graduate school, to teaching at a college level in America, to doing an international ministry, to getting a job in such a short time after graduation. Those may not be anything to others; but they sure are something for me.

Looking back, - although I count them as blessings - I realized I have always been on-the-go in my life. I have never really slowed down. Perhaps she is right. Perhaps now is really the time - the time when I just need to stop and just marvel at His grace.

God has always worked things out for my good (according to Him). What's more, He has kept me tight in the palm of His hand. And though a lot of times I find myself veering to the left and right; He has, indeed, been faithful to keep my faith in Him from being veered.

I have heard people preaching to me, read books, seen people's lives testimony - I even taught my girls and my people at CIRCLES - that God has a purpose to whatever He is doing. There are many things I do or experience now that I do not want to trade with anything else in the world. However, there are also many many things that I do or experience that I do wish not for me to taste. I do believe that He has a purpose and plan for me all along, even when I wasn't paying attention. God desires and has the power - I realized - to align us and position us to be where we are (geographically and spiritually) for His purposes.

Although I may not know why I was brought here. Although I may not understand how can this be His purpose. I know one thing for sure.

I was made to adore Him.
I was made to glorify Him.
I was made to fulfill His higher purpose that I don't even have the clue what it is.

All I can say now is, thank You, Lord!

For the fast-paced life I have had, thank You, Lord!
For taking me out of my comfort zone, thank You, Lord!
For all You've given to me, thank You, Lord!
For all You've done in my life, thank You, Lord!
For all the blessings I still cannot see, thank You, Lord!
And for helping me to slow down, I thank You more and more, Lord!

What would I do without You, Lord?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T23:24:00.000-06:00

This thanksgiving break is certainly different than other thanksgiving breaks I used to have. The most obvious one is I don't have to catch up on homeworks, papers, or exams this time. Wow! This is something that I'm actually very thankful for!

Coming from a country that doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, I definetely find this 'holiday' very special. Being a Christian, my parents always reminded us that we should give thanks to God at all times and all circumstances. But, setting a day aside to specially give thanks to God is actually very cool.

Today God really reminded me that I'm very blessed that wherever I am, I always have a family or two who I can spend thanksgiving with. And it is so true. I have been in America for six years, and I always have a place to go for Thanksgiving. And today I even got to experience two kinds of thanksgiving: American and Asian.

As I celebrate thanksgiving today, I'm thankful for:
1. the grace of salvation God has granted to me
2. my beloved parents and sisters
3. my lovely baby and monty
4. the mission
5. my wonderful friends wherever they are (wichita, kc, indiana, iowa, indonesia, malaysia, singapore, and so on)
6. my tough job (yay! at least I'm employed :) )
7. all nations baptist church
8. my uncertain visa situation (which helps me to cling more on God)
9. and many many more....

Today, I am reminded (again) of the hymn "Count Your Blessings." As my mom always said, God is good. He's always faithful to those are who are faithful in Him. She always reminds us to always count our blessings and be thankful for what He has done in our lives. So, what are you thankful for today?

Count your blessings name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done...
Count your blessings, name them one by one
Count your many blessings and see what God has done...

This time last year....

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000-06:00

This day last year I was with my buddy Jasmine and several other GTAs in Boston. I was sick with a heavy flu. I was also nervous preparing for my presentation for the National Communications Association (NCA). I guess time really flies... Guess where I'm gonna be this time next year!

Transition...

2006-11-15T00:21:00.000-06:00

I still find myself adjusting, transitioning, settling in, or switching the lifestyle that I used to have when I was a student. It seems like I've been in KC for quite some time, but I just realized that I have been here not even for four months yet (well, in two days...).

As exciting as the job can be, I was reminded by one of my pastors that it sure doesn't come without stress. I don't think I'm stressed, through. That's not the point. But, I have to admit that it's very challenging. I really do miss what I used to have.

I do miss classroom. Everytime I see the students at the place I work walking with their sweater, jeans and backpack, somehow I feel like switching role with them. I miss going from class to class. I miss printing my big paper five minutes before the class started. I miss hanging out at the students center to chit chat and simply do nothing.

I do miss taking a nap! Oh, this is certainly the greatest challenge I have working full time. I really used to having 1-2 hours nap back in those days. Oh, how I miss it!

I do miss my Wichita friends! They are just a great mix of students. Love each one of them!

And the thing I miss the most is The Mission. I do miss the exciting, nurturing, soothing time of worship I used to have with them! I miss prayer meetings! I miss lifting each other up in prayers and worships! I do miss circles! I do miss every single thing about the Mission! I even miss having a hard time choosing which restaurant to go after church service each Sunday. I just miss everyone at The Mission! Everything just felt so right back then...

Although I know and believe God has a wonderful, marvelous, glorious plan for my days ahead, sometimes I still wonder why KC. I just don't understand. And I'm sure it's not for me to understand everything right now either.

As I'm writing this entry now, the song "My Hope" by Hillsong is on on my WinAmp. And it's so encouraging. God is good and faithful to me... Words can't even describe...

"You are righteous. You love justice. And those who honour you will see Your face. I will arise and lift my eyes to see Your majesty, Your holiness. And all I am will bless You. My hope is in the name of the Lord where my help comes from. You're my strength, my song. My trust is in the name of the Lord. I will sing your praise. You are faithful."

lee ya is back....

2006-11-07T22:45:00.000-06:00

Wow! I didn't realize that it's been ages since I posted my thoughts here.

Life has been so interesting since I moved up here in Kansas City. It's totally different with student's life that I had been living for practically all my life...

The good thing is I'm so blessed to do what I'm doing now. This is really what I went to school for. I love communications. I really do. Everyday is so different.

I do wear so many "hats," which is the part that I like the most of the job.

One day I am a writer. I just write, write and write all day. I write press releases, stories, ad copies, weekly newsletters and of course e-mails. I do love e-mails.

One day I am a photographer. Yeah! In fact, the people at the place I work often say that camera is part of my attire! Specially with my sunglasses, yeah! I'm so a paparazzi! I take pictures for all the events that go on on campus.

One day I get to be AMELIA EARHART! For those of you who don't know, she was the first woman who flew across the Atlantic Ocean. Very remarkable woman despite the fact that she dissapeared and never came back. For more, you can simply google it! I got to be AMELIA EARHART, coz I flew around Kansas City last week. They wanted me to take pictures of the campus, the Plaza and the downtown from the top! It was an AMAZING experience!

One day I get to be a graphic designer. I design, design, design and design all day. I put together promotional materials: newspaper ads, direct-mail pieces, magazine layouts, and lots more.

One day I get to be a public relations person. I hold press conference. I make sure we have good connections with the media.

One day I get to be an event planner. I hold community functions and presentations.

One day I get to be a Web site person. Haha! A lot of my friends know that I'm kind of a computer illterate person. But hey, a job is a job. Gotta do what I've got to do. Gotta learn what I've got to learn. So yeah, I've been trying to update my work's Web site. Well, like I said, I tried... :)

One day I get to be a greeter. For those of you who like going to Wal-mart, you will always see a person that greets you, "Hi! Welcome to Wal-mart, how are you doing?" Well, I'm not exactly doing that. But, every Tuesday and Wednesday 9:30 a.m., I usually start standing by the chapel auditorium's main doors togive my biggest smile, greet and pass out the newsletter to students, faculty and staff. I personally love doing this, because I get to meet a lot of people.

One day I get to be a talker. I talk and talk and talk and talk on the phone. Sometimes the phone just rings and rings the whole day. Sometimes it just doesn't! It's just interesting...

One day I get to be an eater.This is not a joke at all. There was one week that I literally went out seven days straight lunch and dinner. Not that I want to, but it's just what I have to do with this job. There are lunch and dinner invitations and not forgetting those banquets to attend. Yeah, I'm fat!

Well, all I can say is I'm truly blessed!

And I give the glory and honor to my Father in Heaven... I really wouldn't have been here if it wasn't because of Him.

I often quote my favorite verse Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." AMEN!

God is good and He has always been. I can never thank Him enough for what He has done!

A year in remembrance ....

2006-06-26T23:54:00.000-05:00

Exactly today, a year ago, I got ready to teach my summer's public speaking class. As usual I woke up at around 7:15 a.m. My class was at 8:50 a.m. on the other side of the town. I got ready, took the dog out of the crate to do his business. But, he was just too weak. He didn't wanna move. So, I told him, "Okay, Joey, mommy will be back in about two hours, okay?" I put him back in the crate and left.

I taught the class, listened to some impromptu speeches, laughed with my students, then drove back home.

As soon as I came home, I did my usual greeting, "Hey Joeyyyyyy!" with a high tone of voice, while taking off my shoes. I passed by his crate and went straight to my room to change clothes.

After I got out of the room, I opened the crate and found that my baby Joey was gone.
I screamed. I was shocked. I cried and cried and cried.
I was totally devastated. I had no clue why this happened so fast.

This image is still very vivid in my mind even until today. It certainly was not easy at all. I remember myself sitting in front of the computer grieving, sitting at the living room crying by myself. Yeap, it happened exactly a year ago. It took me about six months to really get over it.

I have a special memory with this little guy. Joey was special. He really was....

Tutti Frutti

2006-06-26T02:04:00.000-05:00

We went for a movie today. Yes, the movie that I had been waiting for, looking forward to, and excited about. Yes, it's The Lakehouse! So, I expected myself to come out of the theater feeling and saying awwwhhhh... so sweet... and etc. Guess what! ABSOLUTELY WRONG! Came out feeling totally blur, confused, you name it! I didnt get it. Well, there is still something that I got out of the movie, but overall, blank!

Oh well! This is exactly why I don't do drama! So complicated! Romantic comedy is really the way to go! Easy to understand, entertaining, and of course funny!

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Learned something today about life and friendship in general

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I am blessed!

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I'm thankful!

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I'm happy!

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thats why I titled this entry Tutti Frutti! Coz it's mixed. It's little bit of everything!

2006-06-21T02:36:00.000-05:00

nowitzki, im so dissapointed! yeap, im so so so dissapointed at you!

2006-06-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

I had a privilege to write an article for the church's bulettin last week. For the past three weeks, our pastor has spoken about what Godly relationship/marriage should be. For some reason, the topic that I wrote about and he spoke about yesterday clicked. He came to me after church service and said that this is truly the Holy Spirit leading the both of us to prepare a message under the same light. So, I thought of posting it on my blog....

While we are waiting....
by Amelia Hendra

Whether we realize it or not, today we live in a time-constrained world. Many claim they are so busy with school or work that they cannot find “the one.” Christians often say that they pray and pray and pray, but they still have not found “the one.”

The media certainly offers lots of ways to connect with other singles. In fact, my research during my graduate school years dealt with how singles find their true love online. I certainly had so much fun watching and observing singles across the world portray themselves in the best light possible hoping to get at least an attention from the opposite sex. I also witnessed how some even mentioned how desperate they are to get married. Sentences like “My prince charming, where are you?” “I’m searching for true love,” or “I’m looking for wife” are very common on those online dating sites. As I began to formulate my hypothesis, one thing really stood out. Most singles care for their “destination.”

It’s amazing how we have the tendency to only care for the end result when we pray. Nothing’s wrong with that. However, God is also interested in the journey, not just the destination. God is never in a rush. With all the questions and uncertainties we have, God cares about purifying, sanctifying, and growing our faith in Him.

Walking by faith is not an easy thing to do. And, God recognizes it. My brothers and sisters, who are still waiting, I encourage you to pray. Pray that our relationships with God grow deeper each and every day. Pray that we are sensitive to His perfect plan in our lives. And most importantly, pray that we evaluate our choices in the light of biblical wisdom. I pray that we are not missing God’s will.

Persevere in Him
Rely on Him
Allow Him to do mighty works in your life
You will sure be blessed!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Phil 4:6-7

I Say a Little Prayer for You

2006-06-17T11:18:00.000-05:00

I love this song!! It reminds me of my favorite movie of all time, My Bestfriend's Wedding! I watched this movie at least five times! I think I'm gonna rent the movie again.... Here's my favorite clip...

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you

While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you

Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.

At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part

Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I say a little prayer for you
I say a little prayer for you
My darling believe me, ( believe me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you

Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)

2006-06-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

I wanna watch the Lakehouse!!

Phewww....

2006-06-14T00:13:00.000-05:00

I got back from Kansas City today! The trip itself was awesome! The people who I will work with seemed very nice! They really treated me well! Brought us to eat great food too!

On the downside, my primary purpose to go to KC was to find an apartment. Let me tell you, apartment shopping is totally frustrating and tiring! Specially when you don't really know the area. But I managed to find one that I really like today (yeap! the second day of apartment shopping) Oh man! But, praise God! I found one!

OK, here's the interesting story! I lived in the white house of the campus! The house was georgous! We got the whole house for ourselves! Here's some pics!

This is the white house!

Lee Ya at the master bedroom (the president's bedroom)

Lee Ya at the patio

We got back from dinner. So we were chit-chatting at the living room. Haha! Yes, I am eating my leftover from dinner. I did too much talking until I couldn't finish my food. And guess what! After we got home, hungryyyyyy!

My one and only prayer today....

2006-06-11T01:22:00.000-05:00

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

Chorus:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

2006-06-08T02:08:00.000-05:00

We went to watch "The Omen" today. It was really scary! Definetely screamed a lot in the theater... Overall, I don't think it's a good movie to watch. It was kinda slow...

Got my SPTE result today and it was good... I think I will miss teaching... I will miss working with students...

It is now official...

2006-06-05T21:32:00.000-05:00

Been thinking about it...
Been praying about it...
Been thinking about it again...
Been praying about it again...

Finally, with the Lord's guidance, I accepted the job offer from Kansas City. I e-mailed him this morning with my decision. He wrote back within 15 minutes saying that he is very happy to know my decision. And the good thing is he said that I can start whenever I want.

So, I will probably leave in about two weeks...
Excited? Absolutely! Sad? Yes! Happy? Uh-oh!
But, I trust Him that things will work out for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose...

Thank you for your prayers, advice, and supports, The Mission, Niki, Jeremy, and Danny!

2006-06-01T16:26:00.000-05:00

It's a shift...
and I'm loving it... *wink*

...

2006-05-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

I just got an e-mail from my girlfriend. She went back to Taiwan for summer. It's so good to hear from her again. We've been e-mailing each other back and forth. But this time she reminded me of a lot of things about friendship and life in general. She's a friend that I truly appreciate. I can be the true me whenever I'm with her. Yeap! Just be myself!

Andddd, we share the same interests!! Cooking, baking, arts and crafts (she's way better than me though.. haha! At least I try....) and of course shopping! We also like the same types of flowers! This girl is just great! Anyways, my point is if I ever go to Kansas City for the job, I'm sure gonna miss her lots!

Niki and me after the commencement

My daddy left...

2006-05-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

I couldn't believe two weeks passed by just like that. It seemed like it was just yesterday when we picked up our Dad from the airport. And, now he's gone again!

I'm so used to having my mom and dad around. It's just so much fun when the whole family gathered. Mom and grandma are still here, but I just wish that Dad is here as well. Having my dad around is so much fun. I mean so so so so so so much fun!!

Now that he's gone, surely there's no more midnite snacks (ice cream, fried rice, fried rice and fried rice) Yeah, fried rice is kinda a snack to him...

So anyways, the apartment is different without him around. I hope all of us get to gather again soon....I miss those moments...

I got a job!

2006-05-22T00:45:00.000-05:00

It was a hectic weekend that I had. We went to Kansas City on Friday afternoon and stayed the night over. Well, the story began last Sunday (two days after graduation). I was at church. Once I was done practicing for the worship service, I went to the back of the sanctuary and said hello to a man from the Kansas' Baptist Association's director. He asked me what I was gonna do after graduation. I told him, well, I'm looking for a job right now. Then, he asked me what my major was, and I said, "Communication."

The next day I got a text message from my pastor's wife, who happens to work with this man, telling me to call her director. So, I called. He said, there is a vacancy for a communication position in Kansas City with a Christian University. He said the president was really interested to see me and wanted me to come for the graduation reception on Friday night. I agreed.

Thursday night, I had all my stuffs packed. Then I felt so uneasy. I'm not sure if I was willing to move to Kansas City leaving my church (thats my only thing that held me back). Did a lot of thinking that night, prayed really hard, went to sleep.

Friday morning, before I left, I received a phone call from a company who interviewed me last time. I kinda turned them down last month because I wasn't interested with the position they were interviewing for. But they still called and asked me if I was still available. They wanted to interview me for a director of mobile marketing position. I SAID, "YES!" So, they said they are going to interview me next week.

Left to Kansas City, did the very casual interview with the University's President. And at that time I learned that I interviewed for a Director of Communication position. At the end of the interview, the president asked me if I was going to be available for a lunch with his wife, nephew, and the graduation's guest speaker so that we could talk more about the position. He also wanted to keep my portfolio overnight and returned me the next day. I agreed.

Saturday, at lunch, we were just talking very casual. He didn't mention anything about the job. None! Until the very last minute of the lunch. He asked, "So Amelia, if I offered you the job and the other company also offers you the job, which one will you choose?" I smiled and said, I will pray for both. He smiled. He looked at me. Then, he said, "So Amelia, the Communication Director's position is yours if you want it. I understand that you're in the process of interviewing with another company. That's fine. You can think about it. And, if you do decide to take my offer, you can begin whenever you are ready." I was speechless. All I could say that moment was, "Thank you, God!"

God is so good! It never crossed my mind that I would get a job offer this soon. I mean, a week after graduation? I was looking for an entry-level job, but God provided me with a better one. He even gives me options! Isn't that something?

It's not something for me to be boastful about, but I just wanted to share how wonderful God works are in our lives. So, when I looked back at those times when I was frustrated with the job situation about a month ago, God really reminded me that this is what you get when you surrender your life to Him. Now, the hardest part is to step out in faith.

It is my prayer now that God reveals where He wants me to be at...

Roller Coaster ride

2006-05-14T12:11:00.000-05:00

Friendship is mutual. It totally cannot be forced. I haven't been forcing it. And, I don't plan on forcing it. I tried my best to always be there whenever I was needed. Lending my ears as much as I could. Giving up my sleep as much as it's needed. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being available when a friend is in need. And, I still do. I celebrated the happy moments that this friend had. Tried my best to be an encourager.

However, when I go through something, I'm not sure where this friend is at. When I celebrate my happy moments, I'm not sure if this friend was around.

The past year or so have been a friendship roller coaster ride for me. It wasn't an intensive ride that I'm really conscious about the whole time. But, I come to realize that this ride has to end somewhere. And, I finally have found my exit door.

Sometimes I wonder, if I'm just a "big dumpster" to hold all those complaints. Well, I don't know..
All I know is I am mentally exhausted.

2006-05-14T01:27:00.000-05:00

"Help me to remember, Lord, that
nothing's gonna happen today that You and I
can't handle together."

Thank you...

2006-05-14T00:46:00.000-05:00

It's been a very hectic, yet satisfying weekend. After about two years, I finally made it through graduate school on Friday, May 12, 2006. I went up the stage, bent, and finally they hooded me. I am relieved. I feel that the weight (well, part of it) has been lifted from my shoulder.

Thoughout my life and graduate school journey, there have been some people who have provided me with love, supports, and encouragements.

To my father, Andy S. Hendra, who has always given me good advise, inputs, and encouragements. He has been my role model since I was young. He has guided and pushed me to have the confidence with what I am doing. His perseverance and hard work have enabled me to pursue my education in the United States. He is a man that I deeply love and respect.

To my mother, Netty M. Hendra, who has always encouraged me in many ways. I would not be here today, if it was not because of her endless prayers, patience, and love. She is a woman that I deeply love and admire.

To my precious sisters, Jennifer and Melissa Hendra, who have always supported me. They have always been there even through my darkest hours. Words cannot describe how much I thank God for having both of them with me in Wichita.

It is my hope and prayers that my achievements will make my family proud, because they deserve much of the credit for the person I have become.

I would also like to acknowledge the individual who, more than any person, helped me to make these (thesis and thesis and thesis) possible. My committee chairperson Dr. Patricia L. Dooley dedicated enormously absurd amount of time to the completion of the thesis. Thank you for giving up your days, nights, and weekends and holding my hand through this process. Thank you for your patience and words of encouragement. You are more than an advisor to me. Thank you, Dr. Dooley!

I would also like to thank my other committee members, Dr. Amy Mattson-Lauters and Dr. Jodie L. Hertzog. You all provided me with new perspectives. Thank you for your time and advise.

On a more personal note, I would also like to recognize other individuals who helped and supported me through my masters program. To my fellow GTA/officemate/research buddy/girlfriend Jasmine Tan, thank you! You have encouraged and challenged me to do better.

To my brothers at “The Mission,” Abrizal, Hendry Gunawan, Tze-Hoong Tan, Pierre Hendrawan, Vinsensius Tanoto, Tony Ngansop, Nic Huang, and Nikki Yodo.

To my pastors and mentors Karl and Vicki Timmons, and Brad and Jamie Simmons.

To my dearest girlfriend Niki Chow. You've been with me through my ups and downs for the past few months. Thanks for your ears, advise, times, and prayers. Those really mean the world for me.

A simple thank you will never be enough to acknowledge what all of you have done in my life. Thank you for your earnest prayers. Thank you for helping me distribute the surveys. Thank you for those IHOP, Starbucks, and Newton’s Doughnuts moments. Above all, thank you for being wonderful people in my life. Without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

I love you all very much!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Phil 4:13

2006-05-07T21:47:00.000-05:00

It was such an embarrassing moment! Oh man, I can't believe I did that!

___________________________________________________

My prayer was finally answered! I hope it stays this way...

Greetings from someone who is really really free!!!

2006-05-04T20:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, as I said in the previous entry not long ago, I'm totally free now.. I'm done... So, I took the quiz that I got thru my buddy's blog. Yeah, I wanna know my language of love... Hahaha! So, here's the result. I think you all should take the quiz too and tell me what yours is! Well, just for fun...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Acts of Service:		7
Physical Touch:		7
Receiving Gifts:		3
Words of Affirmation:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

And here's another quiz I took! Haha! Mannn, I'm so bored!

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Am I done? For real?

2006-05-04T17:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my students gave their commemorative speeches. It is a speech where they praise and celebrate their public speaking experience. This is a speech that I always look forward to, because you actually get to know how they feel about taking the class.

So, they gave their speeches yesterday. Many of them said that they have enjoyed taking the class. They have learned quite a few things. They have made friends with each other. And many other things. As I was listening to their speeches, I began to realize how much they have grown in a semester. I still remember the very first speech they gave, introduction speech. Many of them didn't really know what to say. I have one student who even just smiled for the entire speech time because she didn't know what to say. But yesterday, they have completely changed. They were a lot more confident. They had a lot less UHMS! Isn't that something?

I have mixed feelings again. Well, I always do (call me sentimental!Haha)... But yesterday was totally different... I realized that this is gonna be my last semester teaching. I'm sure gonna miss all these moments. I love working with students! Maybe I need to start looking for a teaching job back home...

Okay, enough about jobs.... Today, I told my buddy that I can't believe that we're getting ready to submit our theses to the grad school. That means we're done! I just can't believe this! This time last week, I was freaking out and preparing for the defense. Oh man, I can't believe I'm through all this grad school process. I'm so done! What an experience!

hmm....

2006-05-01T10:36:00.000-05:00

well, i never thought i would ever arrived to this point. not sure what it is. not sure how to describe it. but it is sure very pleasant and joyful. although i've experienced it before, i'm not too sure how to handle it. but, with open mind and heart, i'm just gonna let God do His will. totally looking forward to whatever happens...

Yes, I made it!

2006-04-28T22:28:00.000-05:00

So, I went to the thesis defense today. It started at 2 p.m. I was a little nervous when I was doing the last run through. I was not scared of the presentation actually. I was more concern with the question and answer session. I was scared that I was not gonna be able to understand the question. I was afraid of practically everything.

I prayed real hard. I kept saying, "Father, help me." And, He did! I could sense His presence as I presented my research. I could sense His presence during the Q&A session. I totally felt the peace walking out of the room too.

At about 3:30 p.m., Dr. D, Dr. L and Dr. H came out of the room and told me the good news. Dr. D hugged me and said, "congratulations!" I felt so relieved!

She took me to her office to go over some minor revisions. And she asked me if I want to publish this work. She told me that she's gonna help me with that. She even mentioned that Dr. H will help me publish the same work using another angle. So, that means two publications!

Anyways, I'm just relieved that I passed!

Friends, thanks for your supports! Thanks for your prayers! And, thanks for being there to attend my defense!

It's time...

2006-04-28T10:39:00.000-05:00

After pouring my sweat and blood to pages of research, today is the day.
I'm going for a battle to defend my arguments.
The clock is ticking and I'm not sure if I was ready.
Been having stomach cramps since this morning.

Father, help me!

Special Thanks....

2006-04-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

Special thanks to my wonderful faboulous friends who helped me out with the moving!

Niki Chow, Nic Huang, Cuyang, Pierre Hendrawan, Tze-Hoong Tan, Jeong Won, David Lim, Tony Ngansop, Jia Sheen, Sue Li, Vinsensius Tanoto, and others that have helped us during the process...

You guys rock!

God bless you!

Love,
The Hendra girls

Just a quick flashback....

2006-04-17T19:09:00.000-05:00

Sunday, February 19, 2006 08:39 p.m.
I received an e-mail from my Comprehensive Exam's (COMPS) chair saying:

Hello Amelia,

I have attached a copy of your comprehensive exam questions. In addition, I have placed a paper copy in an envelope in your box in the main office. I hope you will feel comfortable talking with any of your committee members if you feel you do not understand the way the questions are worded. I look forward to seeing you undertake and successfully complete this next step inyour journey toward your master's degree.

Prof. D

And here's what the actual questionnaire said:

The exam will take place at Elliott Hall on Saturday, April 1, from 1 to 5 p.m., in computer lab 234. Please arrive at least 15 minutes early so you can start on time. Questions used in the actual exam will be drawn from those listed below. During the preparation period, feel free to ask faculty members about any questions that you feel are worded in such a way that you aren’t sure you understand them.

Each of your answers will be judged on depth of understanding and breadth of analysis. You should be able to identify critical elements and essential implications of each question and then provide a well-considered answer reflective of a mature and comprehensive understanding of the material covered by the question. Usually this requires citation of significant supportive works and specific scholars in the topic area. Simply referring to a textbook is not adequate. Shallow or ill-defined answers will not be accepted. Such answers will require a rewrite and may ultimately result in denial of the degree. Since your degree will be in COMMUNICATION, it is critical that your answers clearly communicate your thoughts free of style, grammar, organization and spelling problems.

Here are your study questions:

1. What is qualitative communication research? In answering this question, analyze each term separately. In what ways is qualitative research different from quantitative research? What is triangulation? Provide a specific example of triangulation in communication research.

2. If you were assigned to give instructions to a group of research assistants on how to proceed methodologically in one of the qualitative research methods: i.e. survey, content analysis, or ethnography, how might you "walk them through" the various stages? Choose one method and outline the chronology of steps (or if little sequencing exists, then the essential tasks) Be instructive, clear, and thorough.

3. What are the strengths and weaknesses of survey research for communication? What are the strengths and weaknesses of ethnography for communication? Be specific. How are these two methods conceptualized at opposite ends of the research spectrum?

4. Discuss the following endeavors as they relate to conducting preliminary research in your area of interest:
a. use of on-line and other electronic data base searches.
b. familiarity with relevant indices.
c. knowledge of respected scholars and scholarly literature, in your area.

5. Distinguish the following forms or approaches to research. Be sure to provide definitions, examples, comparisons/contrasts, etc.
a. historical research
b. critical research
c. descriptive research
d. experimental research

6. The preparation of questionnaires in survey research is a significant part of the methodology. Discuss the various concerns which a researcher must deal with in preparing a field ready questionnaire.

7. How does the process of research evolve? Elaborate on the basic steps or stages involved in both qualitative and quantitative research.

8. Compare and contrast the social scientific and humanistic approaches to the study of communication. Which approach is better suited to communication? Why?

9. How does an individual's development of her/his concept of self fundamentally influence his/her approach to communicating with others?

10. Compare the classical and humanistic schools of organizational theory and the implications each has for the application of communication theory within the organization.

11. Compare and contrast three different methods of doing rhetorical criticism.

12. Compare/contrast the Aristotelian rhetorical critical method with one of the newer methods. Which do you prefer? Take a stand and defend it. Examples and well supported reasoning are expected.

13. Discuss the concept of scholarly objectivity in the field of communication research. Is it desirable? Is it attainable? Why or why not?

14. What are some of the current popular research areas in organizational communication? Who are the researchers and with what area are they associated?

15. Identify three critical developments in the history of communication research. How did these trends or events impact the development of communication research?

16. Identify and explain the parameters that enable you to develop a "communication perspective" of human communication theory. Compare/contrast your perspective as a student of communication with the perspectives of communication in psychology, sociology, and anthropology.

17. Describe and compare the perspectives of at least three communication scholars who have written on the phenomenon of social-networking software such as that used by the distributors of on-line dating websites.

18. In Comm 801, your instructor offered a distinction between the terms “discipline” and “field,” particularly as these terms relate to the teaching and study of communication. Explain this distinction as clearly and completely as you can.

19. The roots of the American communication discipline can be traced back to departments of English. Explain this as completely as you can, making sure to include in your discussion how journalism and speech chose different emphases or components in shaping their respective parts of the discipline.

20. The required general education public speaking course has come under attack at your university. Some departments want to eliminate it as a requirement. As a staunch supporter of the course, how would you defend its legitimacy to a Faculty Senate General Education Committee that is charged with recommending a position to the general faculty on the proposal to eliminate the course as a requirement?

21. A colleague of yours is having difficulty developing training programs that focus on specific training skills. Her sessions tend to be filled with lecturing and theory discussions. How can she make her training sessions focus on skills development instead of mainly on information sharing?

Thursday, Feb.23, 2006
I was burnt out. Deciding whether I should do thesis first or COMPS.

Sunday, Feb. 26, 2006
I broke down. Literally broke down... I couldn't take it anymore. I felt helpless. Thesis was not coming along well. COMPS are crazy! I cried and cried and cried...

Monday, Feb. 27, 2006
I woke up with red and swollen eyes. Went to teach from 8:00-9:15 a.m. Held my office hours while crying. Couldn't take it anymore... I called my mom... Didn't say a word, just cried cried and cried... Mom was worried. After I got off the phone, I received two text messages from my dad:

1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phillipians 4:13)

2. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Ephesians 3:20)

I was encouraged and lifted up. But still, there are some works to be done.

Tuesday, Feb.28, 2006 - Thursday, March 16, 2006
I was frantically gathering the research materials and putting together my big fat COMPS binder. Working day and night for COMPS and Thesis.

Friday, March 17, 2006
I was officially done with all the questions. Decided to leave the thesis aside for the next couple of weeks.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 - Saturday March 25, 2006
Having fun while carrying my big fat COMPS folder everywhere. No motivation to study at all!!

Sunday, March 26, 2006
First day of panicking again. Got together with Becca at Barnes and Nobles studying.

Monday, March 27, 2006 - Friday, March 31, 2006
Religiously going to Barnes and Noble studying and memorizing. I basically didn't do anything besides studying. Totally isolate myself from anyone...

Saturday, April 1, 2006
Getting ready for the Test.
12:30 p.m. leave apartment
1:00-5:00 p.m. Taking the test
5:00 out of the room (happy and anxious)

Monday, April 17, 2006
1:40 p.m. Went to Dr. D's office.
She said with her smile, "YOU PASSED COMPS!"
Then, she gave me a hug. Oh man, what a journey!!!

Wondering the wonderous...

2006-04-14T02:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why things are the way they are.
Sometimes I wonder why I give in to things like these.
Sometimes I wonder why I choose this over that.
Sometimes I wonder why now or why not now?
Sometimes I wonder why I don't just quit this.

I guess I just wonder.
All this while, I just wonder and wonder and wonder...
When I helped my friend to move last week, I came across a poster that she had.

"Dreams without actions stay dreams."

Hmm, maybe it's time then.
Time to take actions.
Yeah, time to move on....

2006-04-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

You can take the girl out of Indonesia,

but you can never take the Indonesian out of the girl.

A friend of mine said that to me today. I've been in the states for more than five years.

My friends back home said I've changed (hopefully in a good way...).

But many here still find me as a very very Indonesian girl in a lot of ways. Haha!

But that's good! :)

I just feel that I have to blog this...

Anyways, I went for a complete manicure and pedicure today...

I feel sooo good now! It's been a while since I have a nice and relaxing moment.

Another good thing about it is that I went with my two sisters.

So, it's sort of a sister day thing today... It's fun!

I think I will be a 'lil lonely without my sisters around when I go home...

Sigh....

Big day...

2006-04-12T00:39:00.000-05:00

Today is my parents' 26th anniverssary!

So, Mom and Dad, happy annivessary!! I'm really proud of my parents! I'm not who I am today, if it wasn't because of them! I'm blessed to have them as my parents...

Also, a friend of mine is celebrating his birthday today! Haha! Hope you have a blessed day, okay?

And one last thing, today I submitted my thesis' rough draft! Haha! I'm meeting with my chair tomorrow. I'm sure she's got lots of revisions for me to make! But, at least I'm a bit relieved now!

Oh well, gotta teach early in the morning tomorrow! Later!!

The clock is ticking...

2006-04-01T11:05:00.000-06:00

Yeah... the clock is ticking and I'm getting more and more anxious! Everyone has been asking me the same question, "Are you ready?" Haha! The truth is I don't even know if I'm ready or not.. I kept looking and reading my notes since last nite... And, my heart is beating ten thousand times faster! My hands are getting colder too... I was better last nite... All I can think of right now is that I just want to get it over with...

So, in less than two hours I'll be sitting in front of a Mac Computer and type and type and type and type until 5 p.m. Pray for me!

Surprise surprise...

2006-03-31T00:10:00.000-06:00

Nice little surprises for me these days...

A girlfriend of mine dropped by my office yesterday... That was a nice surprise! It was her first time to my office, and I've never expected her to come by... Really made my day! Girlfriends are the bestttt!!

This morning a friend of mine from the other part of the world also called... That was another nice 'lil surprise! Hey, I hope you feel better, k?

Then I went to the office, and all the second year GTAs who are taking COMPS, including me, got cute little presents from Cori and Sandy. Yes, some chocolates and a CD that says "COMPS Music."

Oh yeah, couple of days ago I got some breads that were sent by FedEx! Hahaha! My kind of bread! The one similar to BreadTalk in Asia.... Thanks a lot, man! They were great!!!

I love surprises! They may seem simple to others, but I'm just blessed.

Oh ya! Speaking of surprises, COMPS are tomorrow!
I hope Dr. Dooley decides to be nice by not surprising me with all those hard questions!!

COMPS....

2006-03-28T01:22:00.000-06:00

Okay, I totally can't wait for COMPS to be done! I'm totally looking forward to the 1st of April now! After all the whinings and cryings, the frustrations and the nightmares in the past, I just can't wait for it to be over. Let me see, it's Tuesday morning now, so that means I'm four days away from COMPS! Wuhoooo!

Also, I want to thank my friends for all of your supports! I'm not kidding! All of your text messages, msn messages, emails, phone calls and prayers really mean a lot!! It's really nice to have the encouragements from all of you! You are all the best!!!

Arrrghhh, just give me the exam, so I can breathe!!

my rainbow...

2006-03-26T23:43:00.000-06:00

Now I know why I couldn't see that rainbow I've been waiting for after this long pouring rain...
That mountain is too high...
And the 'lil rainbow was hiding behind it....
So, should I climb up the mountain to see the rainbow now before it dissapears?
Or, should I go to the other side of the mountain?
Or, should I not care about the rainbow at all?
Hmm.....

So, it is finally over....

2006-03-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

Yeah, today! Spring break is officially over....

No more break....

Missing that song so much....
Missing that life so much....

My last spring break...

2006-03-25T23:11:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah! It's my last spring break! Sad? Happy? Well, I've gotta say both! Sad, coz later when I work, obviously there's no such thing as spring break. Happy, coz that means I don't have to study anymore! Haha! Since this is my last spring break, many of my friends advised that I should enjoy to the fullest! Well, I really wish I could do that. But, I have this COMPS that I have to study. So, before spring break started, I kept telling my friends and of course myself that I'll be studying! Yeah! No Kansas City trip, no late nite movies, no late nite snacks, no nothing! Coz why? Amelia needs to study!

Guess what! Didn't work out! Yes, I went to Kansas City(I brought my folder though, but of course I didn't study), I had all the mid nite snacks, and haha! Yes! I never missed the DVD nites. Oh God! What was I doing?!! I dunno, but I just can't concentrate. My mind is totally somewhere else!

Today is Saturday, I'm a week away from COMPS, and guess what! Haha! Nothing sticks in my brain! So, I think I better get my acts together now! (I know... I've been saying this since God knows when...) But, this time is for real!! I mean business (Haha! I know you'll say... yeah.. yeah...)

Anyways, spring break is over... So that means, Amelia won't have spring break anymore....

I changed the song again!

2006-03-19T22:59:00.000-06:00

Haha! I just changed the song again! I really love this song.... It's an Indonesian song sang by a very famous singer, Krisdayanti.... I really love it! Enjoy the clip! Here's the lyrics (together with the translation), if you wanna sing along!

Cobalah Untuk Setia
(Please try to be faithful)

Apalah maumu kasih,
(What is it that you want, my love?)
kau pilih diriku di dalam hidupmu
(You chose me to be in your life)
Nyatanya kulihat ini,
(But, this is what I see)
tak bisa kau coba untuk setia
(You can't even try to be faithful)

Sudah cukuplah sudah,
(Enough, it's enough)
kumemberikan waktu
(I've given you all the time you need)
Kau selalu tak bisa mencoba untuk setia...
(But you always can't even try to be faithful)

Chorus:
Yang selalu kuinginkan, yang selalu kunanti
(Whatever I want, whatever I wait for)
Kau coba untuk mengerti, apalah arti mencinta
(Please try to understand, what does it mean to love?)
Dan harus kau sadari, bila ingin bersamaku
(You've got to realize, if you wanna be with me)
Jangan coba kau ingkari, cobalah untuk setia...
(Don't try to break the promise, please try to be faithful)

Bridge:
Masihkah aku diinginkan, masihkah aku didambakan
(Am I still wanted? Am I still longed by you?)
Masihkah ada waktu untukmu bersamamu, akankah kujalani hidup...
(Is there still time for you to be with me? Am I gonna live this life?)

Chorus

Dan harus kau sadari, bila ingin bersamaku
(And you've got to realize, if you wanna be with me)
Jangan coba kau ingkari, cobalah untuk setia...
(Don't break your promise, please try to be faithful)

Blink! Blink!

2006-03-18T14:11:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine in the ESC told me few days ago that she had to go to an eye doctor. She explained to me that couple days before she went to the doctor, she felt that something's bugging her eyes. Eyes were redish, then painful... She felt her eyes were dry too... untillotsa tears came out! Then I said... yah yahh me too!! I think I told some of my friends too about that.... And the strangest thing was that I didn't even wear my contacts then... so definetely not my contacts....

Anyways, she went on with her story.... She told the doctor that she's been writing her thesis and studying for COMPS... She said she had been spending hours and hours in front of the computer... Wah... very similar to my situation! Haha! Then the doctor checked her vision and all the details.. everything was fine....

The doctor then came with a conclusion that, when we're doing our stuffs, like studying or being in front of the computer, do remember to blink!

Haha! You probably think, whattt? Blink? Yes, blinking is very very important! So for those of you who are working hard (read: Jasmine! haha!) please don't forget to blink! You all don't wanna spend big bucks at the eye doctor just to discover you forgot to blink!

So lets start now! Blink! Blink! Blink!

My fabolous chinese experience..

2006-03-18T01:28:00.000-06:00

I went to a Chinese Bible Study today! Haha! You probably think, what is wrong with Amelia? Haha! Yah, if I were you, I think you're asking a very valid question. I didn't understand any word they said. But, I still went! Why? Because one of my girlfriends here in Wichita accepted the Christ about two weeks ago, and today she gave her testimony about how God touched her heart. Totally learned a lot... There were seven of them who gave testimonies. Yes, they were all in Chinese. And they were all wonderful! Thanks to Yong Chen for being a great translator too!

I enjoyed the singing part. Although I couldn't read the words on the powerpoint, I knew the songs in my own language. So, I hummed... Those were really the songs I grew up with... I felt like I was home... The style of the service was exactly the same as how we did it back home. The format of the worship was very similar too! The only difference was the language...

The funny thing was that when I walked into the room, couple people smiled and said, "Ni Hao?" And everytime they wanted to say something, my friends has to tell them that I don't know Chinese.. Haha! So, I guess I really look Chinese? Haha! Well, yes I am Chinese, but I just don't know how to speak the language. People say I'm a banana (yellow on the outside, but white inside) But, today I just felt the confirmation of being Chinese haha! Must be my moisturizers and creams! Also another funny part is, I always knew when it's time to pray.. Yong Chen laughed at me! He just didn't remember that I know the word "Tao Kao" means pray... But that's fine... I let him had fun by laughing at me today...

Anyways, had a great time! Looking at how they got saved, I'm still praying for some of my friends. I know my timing isn't God's. I'm just waiting, praying and surrendering for God to touch their hearts...

I can see the world better!!

2006-03-16T00:30:00.000-06:00

Yeah! I literally meant it! I totally can see the world better now! Why? My mommy got me a new pair of contact lens! Yee haaa! So, that means I don't have to wear those nerdy looking glasses all the time! Haha! It's been a month! And for me, that means it's been ages! I'm loving what I see now, coz of course I see things better and I don't look sleepy anymore! Haha!

And, I realized I haven't been blogging for quite a while... I got so tied up with COMPS and Thesis! And when my buddy wrote on one of her entries that she felt the world is passing her by, I totally can hear her! Haha! But that's okay, two more weeks and we can be free like birds, buddy! Yesss! We'll fly highhhh and see the world again, buddy! Haha! I'm so excited and I just can't wait for that moment!

Out of those 21 study questions, I have three more to work on. I'll be done with those by this weekend! Yeah, the past two weeks were rough! Not enough sleep or sometimes not even sleeping! You probably can tell from my past entries on this blog! Oh well, it'll soon be over!

Oh! And I came accross this old song that I thought is very appropriate to my situation...

I Can See Clearly Now
by Johnny Nash

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin' for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.

My book...

2006-03-03T13:42:00.000-06:00

Life is like a book. Has different chapters. Has different characters that come and go. Has angels (the ones people will like) and devils (the ones that make people mad). My life has different chapters and people who are significant to the events in life and the ones who just pass by or watch from the distance.

Recently I found my "timeline" that we did in church about two years ago. It was an activity using different colors of "post-it" sticky paper. Red to identify crisis in life; yellow to identify significant event in my life. There were people that are significant in my life that have been around from the time I was born till now. There were people who were significant in my life back then and now dissapear. There were names that showed up during my teenage and college years. But there was one name I noticed that has never disappeared. Yes, it's Jesus...

I really wouldn't have been here right now, if it wasn't by His grace and mercy. With all the things that I went through this past week, God spoke to me in many ways. I still can't change what has happened. I still can't remove the heartache till now. But, I know I have hope...

So friends,
If I got you worried this few days, I'm sorry..
If you had to be on the phone with me for hours listening to whatever nonsense I had, I'm sorry..
If you had to deal with all this, I'm sorry...
If you asked and asked and never got an answer, I'm sorry...

I'm ending that blue chapter in my 'book' now and moving on to my next chapter...

Thanks for all the prayers.
Thanks for all the e-mails.
Thanks for all the minutes you wasted.
Thanks for all the encouraging words.
Thanks for all the hours you spent staying up late with me.
Thanks for all the songs you gave me.
Thanks for everything...

LeeYa

What in the world was I thinking?

2006-02-23T10:27:00.000-06:00

Until today, I still can't believe that this is the route that I chose. I still can't believe that these are the things that I chose to do. I had the options to choose coursework instead of thesis for my last hours in grad school. But, guess what! I chose thesis hours. I think I just love to act smart; while I'm really not. Then, looking back at two and a half years ago, oh mannnn! I can't even believe I chose to enter the graduate program.

Not saying that it's been bad all the way. There were sure lots of good and sweet memories in grad school. But still, what was I even thinking at that time?

I think I will still ask the same question on my graduation day or even when I attend my kids' graduations! Hahaha! Why did mommy go to grad school again?

Gosh, I'm burnt out...
Mom, Dad, I wanna go home.....

Lee Ya is desperately begging you for help!!

2006-02-18T17:15:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone...

As many of you know, I'm currently on the last phase of my graduate school carreer. So, in order to graduate and actually get out of this lovely Elliott School of Communication, I have to do my thesis. Some of you are probably aware of the topic that I'm doing; while some aren't. But, don't worry!

Just a little bit of my study, my research is about Friendster. yes, Friendster!! I'm sure a lot of you know about this fun site! Part of the methodology that I'm using is survey. This survey is designed to see how popular Friendster is among Southeast Asians. But, since Southeast Asia is kinda big, I have limited the countries to: Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. I'm also investigating about the common usage of Friendster and whether it has been unofficially turned into an online dating site.

Now you probably wonder, what does it get to do with me? Here it is! If you are from one of those countries I mentioned above, please take just two minutes (Yes! Just two minutes! It's a real short survey) of your busy time and fill out this survey. If you want to pass this survey to your other Southeast Asian friends too, that is even better! Below is the link to the survey:

Okay, I want to help Lee Ya with her survey!

For your information, this is completely voluntary. You don't have to do it, if you don't want to. And, it's also anonymous.

So again, Lee Ya really really needs your help... Please, please, please, please, pleaseeeee!! Thank you very much. Your help is greatly appreciated!!

Once again, Lee Ya was late...

2006-02-17T18:37:00.000-06:00

Heard a very bad news today. A member of our church passed away yesterday afternoon. I was stunned, speechless, shocked, you name it! I know she has been sick for a while. We visited her every now and then. The last time Yong Chen and I visited her was on the 30th of December. This couple was very excited when we came over. I still remember what she said when we just stepped in to their house, "How have you been? I've been worried about you guys!"

I told her that we've been really busy with finals, christmas party and other things. Although those are true, I still felt bad. This couple did not have anyone in Wichita. And I felt that those are just 'excuses.' Before we left that night, I asked her if there's anything that I could pray for before we leave. She suddenly broke down into tears. Two wishes that she had. One is that she could go back to church. Two is that God would heal her. She had been really sick. She kept crying when I prayed for her. I hugged her after that and she said she loved us (The Mission).

I talked to her again last weekend for the last time. She told me that she was gonna come for the Valentine event. I was excited to hear that. But then right before 6 p.m. she left a message on my cellphone saying that it was just too cold to both of them that night, so they decided not to come.

Sunday afternoon, a friend of mine said that her husband woke up that morning found out that she wasn't really breathing. They then took her to the hospital. Her husband is Indonesian and his English is really really limited. He couldn't really understand what the doctor said. So, he wanted me and Cuyang to go over the hospital on tuesday morning to be his translators because the doctor wanted to talk to him and his family; and they had to make a very important decision.

I was scared and nervous. I prayed real hard that Monday night. I was scared that I wouldn't understand some medical terms. I didn't want to mislead him when he had to make a very important decision.

I still came that Tuesday morning to the hospital. She was lying on the bed unconcious. But, we saw a progress! She had some responses when we touched her. I thought there's still hope. Her husband said, "Amelia, would you lead us in prayer?" So, I did. While we were waiting for the doctor to come, I felt miserable. The thoughts about all the events with her came to my mind.

I felt even worse when her husband showed me a piece of paper that she wrote for him couple days before she was in coma. The paper contained few names and phone numbers. She told him that if anything happened to her call these four people. Those people were her three children and me. Yes, it was me, Amelia Hendra. I saw it with my very own eyes. I felt really bad because out of all those four people, I was the only one who live in Wichita! So I promised myself. You know what? Once she's out of the hospital, I will visit her more often. She's lonely. She needs someone.

Once again, I was too late. Now she's gone. I feel bad, guilty, and again terrible. Whatever that I thought I was gonna do is just too late. Looking back at last semester and this semester, yes I have been busy with a lot of stuffs. But the truth is I still had time. I could have taken one Friday night to go over her house and visit rather than sitting at home. I could have taken one evening to stop by her house for just half an hour rather than chatting on MSN or doing whatever nonsense that I did. Although I didn't mean to "ignore" her, somehow I chose to stay home and did all those.

Totally a big lesson for me to learn today. I know a lot of people say it's the heart that counts. Someone even told me one time that if you have the heart, no matter how late you are, things will work out. I'm not sure if I translated it right, but anyway. I really regret the things that have happened.

Sometimes we don't know how important people are in our lives until we "lose" them. Today, I really wanna encourage all of you who read my blog that if you care or love someone, show them that you care before it is too late. Show them that you love them , before your time is up...

What does your name say?

2006-02-15T12:47:00.000-06:00

Got this from one of those forward emails today. I just thought it's pretty interesting. And somehow clicks? I dunno! Just check this out!

Does your name begin with:

A
U are particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.

B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .

E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.

I
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.

K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".

M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

T
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life. !

U
You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.

W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.

Y
You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.

I changed the song!

2006-02-14T16:47:00.000-06:00

Yeap, after about 6 months, I finally decided to change the song on my blog. I really love this song!

So sweet......

2006-02-13T21:43:00.000-06:00

Well, everyone seems like in the mood of Valentine! This my friend who happens to be my neighbor was actually found as the most romantic person in the block! Haha! Yes, the block of Olde English Manor!

When others plan for dinner, movie, or ice cream to celebrate this Valentine's day, this person actually have secretly, quietly and rushingly planned a trip to Boston! Yes, the ticket has been booked and issued! So, it's confirmed that this person is leaving!

On top of that, this person leaves at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning! Mann, talking about sacrifice! When I asked about this whole trip, a simple yet powerful statement was thrown at me, "Love is about giving!"

Yes, dude! I agree! Well, to sum it up, I just wanted to wish you all the best for your Valentine! And Danny Santanu, I'm so proud of you!!!

You made my day!

2006-02-13T13:52:00.000-06:00

Got a very simple text message this morning from a friend who I have not been in touch with for quite sometime... Maybe it was just a mass message that was sent to everyone, but somehow it just made my day... Friends do have a powerful capability to brighten my days!

Girl, I thought you were mad at me!! Happy Valentine's day to you too! Hope you have a good one! Miss ya!

And it is Valentine!

2006-02-12T11:55:00.000-06:00

Just as much as I prayed that the Valentine's event would speak to those who came, God really made the message personal for me too. Valentine's day is described as a day to celebrate love. Last nite, we at the Mission gathered and celebrated this very day together with another 104 people at the CAC Theater. Surely more that we expected.

Love is something that many people like to talk about. Some smile; some laugh; some even cry when they remember their loved ones; and their memories of love. Everyone has their own definition of love. Last night, I began to learn again about the definition of love:

1. Love is a choice
2. Love is giving
3. Love is unconditional

Out of all the definitions of love that my friends, the Hollywood, and those magazines offer, I love what the bible says about love.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,
they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away."

Everytime I read this, I just feel that love is portrayed beautifully here. What I can testify here is I'm so glad that God chose me to be one of His children. I'm glad that I get to know all this knowledge.

So today, one of my friends from Penang reminded me that today is the last day of Chinese New Year, which is also known as the lunar's valentine or the chinese's valentine. The story goes like this:

Chap Goh Meh – the Night of Romance
A fascinating Chap Goh Meh legend tells the story of a lonely young man who, during an outing on this very significant night, was suddenly enraptured by the most beautiful sight he ever laid eyes on. Who was this exquisitely delicate beauty driving by in all her finery, he wondered. Despite the excitement pounding in his heart, the hopeful young gentleman quickly jotted down the number of her car, lest he forgot. The very next day, he made enquiries as to who the car belonged to, and finally obtained the car owner's address. With great haste, he requested his mother to send a matchmaker to his dream girl's home to arrange the marriage. In his rush, the star-crossed optimist did not realise that the girl he had seen was not the daughter of the house but a visiting niece. And so on his wedding day, the poor groom found that instead of the radiant smiling girl he had expected, he was married to her fat and rather plain cousin. The story does have a rather happy ending though, as his wife was a wealthy woman!

Chap Goh Meh goes by a few names. In Mandarin it is called Yuan Xiao, but in the traditional Hokkien dialect of Penang, Chap Goh Meh means the 15th night of Chinese New Year. It is celebrated with prayers and offerings to mark the end of the Chinese New Year. During this auspicious occasion, houses are brightly decorated with lights and lanterns are hung over the balcony or five-foot ways for the last day of the Chinese New Year. Prayers to the ancestors are offered. Despite a ban, firecrackers are lit as a 'send-off' to the new year. The next day, people go back to work, businesses operate as usual and everyone is looking forward to the next hinese New Year.

Various activities are planned to mark this very traditional occasion but the two mainstays are the Dondang Sayang and orange/tangerine throwing ceremony. In the morning, nyonya households will distribute pengat, a sweet and rich broth of tubers and bananas to relatives and friends. As evening falls, the atmosphere relaxes as the gentle strains of Dondang Sayang fill the air. Dondang Sayang, literally meaning lullaby of love, is an interplay of sung poetry, usually revolving around the theme of love, between a man and a woman, each trying to outwit the other in the name of affection whilst traditional music plays in the background.
In the past, Chap Goh Meh was one of the few occasions where eligible young ladies, transformed into scorching beauties, were allowed out from the confines of their homes. Eager gentlemen could only admire longingly at all the passing beauties, as the lovely ladies were always accompanied by an entourage of the fiercest looking aunts and amahs (servants)! These young maidens (and spinsters) would throw oranges into the sea as a gesture of hope to wed good husbands. To keep this quaint tradition alive in modern times, orange throwing has transmogrified into a competition of sorts, where oranges thrown into the sea by girls (single
or otherwise) would be scooped up by boys in boats. The boat with most oranges would be declared the winner.
(http://www.tourismpenang.gov.my/articlePrint.cfm?id=28)

It's always interesting to me to learn how people celebrate things. I guess I'm gonna end this entry now, coz I need to buy oranges! Haha! Joking! Everyone out there, Lee Ya just wanted to wish you a....

Happy Valentine's day!

One of those nights

2006-02-02T10:14:00.000-06:00

This semester will be very painful, frustrating and stressful. Writing thesis is not easy at all. Every Wednesday at 1 p.m. I'm always nervous walking in to Dr. Dooley's office. And always overwhelmed walking out of it. And everytime Becca knocks on my office's door, I always go, "alrite, she's going to the library again!"

Part of me said, "Who cares about thesis! Why didn't I choose coursework over thesis?" But a big part of me said, "I can do it! I'll get through it!" I couldn't really sleep last night thinking how my thesis is gonna be put together. The minute I got frustrated about it, another thought came. COMPS is approaching!!! Yeah, this is another scary part of graduate school. Now my important dates are set. And I'm walking slowly to get there!

COMPS: Saturday, April 1, 2006

Thesis Defense: Friday, April 28, 2006

This morning, as frustrated as I was last nite, I read this encouraging entry that Jasmine, my buddy, posted. It's funny how we think about the same thing at the same time.

"I just saw this in one of those forwarded emails, and its really going to be my motto as i sail the rough waters of thesis writing.

calm seas never make skillful sailors.

i know my goal is to finish writing. sometimes, especially during the afternoons, i doubt myself, and thought of just going home. deserting the stupid thesis and just walk away. sometimes, as i am holed up in my tiny apartment reading some difficult to understand words of wisdom, a tiny thought will creep in...."what is it like to do nothing but eat tons of red bean ice cream, and watch endless television now?"

you should see my buddy and i lugging the stacks of books home from the library. i have 10 big books, thick and square. she has more than 10, (cos' she's more kiasu) haha...we could barely walk with those books in our arms. and we each carry a heavy bag, with more notes and stationary in it.

you should see my buddy and i when we listen to other people's progress in their thesis writing. we listen in fear (that we can never catch up), and we listen in awe (at their accomplishment).

you should see my buddy and i when we reach shelf p96.15 (mass communication theory and criticism), or bf 375 (self identity), or HM 101 (cultural studies). yes, those are library indexes. we climb stools, stretch with our might to reach that precious books, nearly toppling over each other sometimes, posing real bodily harm to the other. we sprawl out on the dirty carpet of the library with books stack around us, just figuring which one we want to borrow. yes! we just sit around whereever we like, surrounded by treasure troves of thoughts written by people who have struggled before us. perhaps in the same fashion..

amelia, can you imagine Marshall McCluhan, or Stuart Hall, or John Fiske, or Chomsky scrambling in the library like us? or even Dooley, Huxman, Dr. Wang, Dr. Hertzog, WILLIAMSOM, boyle, armstrong, Judy Bergan, Sriramesh! all sitting on the library floor?

we are at the end, almost at the end, not at the end yet.

we strive to be

"top of the pop"
"stupid nevermind, must be very fast"
"get our acts together"

we are two graduate students, huddling close, trying to sail the rough waters....

I know we will be strong, skillful sailors!!

My ship is starting to sail, into troubled waters, is yours there yet?" (Tan, 2006)

I truly thank God that He put someone on my path as I walk through this painful journey.

Miss Jasmine Tan, I can already see the finish line from here!

Lets run!!!!!!!!

*By the way, this is a UMass' red!! *

The birth of a new communication scholar!

2006-01-31T18:57:00.000-06:00

The new distinguish scholar in the area of computer-mediated communication has arrived. Her main area of interest is nonverbal communication among puggies,
human-doggy's social interaction, and the social use of language among puggies.
She's currently writing her Master's thesis under the supervision of Ms. Amelia Hendra.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our new and rising scholar, Ms. Baby Hendra!

Ms. Baby Hendra is working closely under Ms. Amelia Hendra's supervision

Ms. Amelia Hendra is pleased with Ms. Baby Hendra's research

2006-01-30T22:26:00.000-06:00

"Home is where your heart is..."

Saw a picture with that quotation at my neighbor's door

when I came home today.

The thought of being home was constantly on my mind today.

I guess it's true... home is where your heart is....

2006-01-28T10:01:00.000-06:00

We would like to wish you
a wonderful new doggy year!
Arrrfffff!!!

Love,
Amelia and Baby

2006-01-26T10:21:00.000-06:00

Don't know what to do on Valentine's day? Don't know where to go? Don't know who you should spend the Valentine's day with? Or, don't know how to make your Valentine's day memorable? Don't worry! You are all invited to the second annual Valentine's celebration presented by The Mission college student ministry!

"I think I'm in Love"

Praise and Worship; romantic drama; dance and beautiful message specially packaged live for all of you. So, come and celebrate your Valentine with us:
Date: Saturday/February 11, 2006

Time: 6:00 p.m.

Location: CAC Theater Wichita State University.

For more information, please contact me!

Untitled

2006-01-24T17:20:00.000-06:00

Noticed my title? Yeah, it's untitled! Seems like it's a trend now to have a title "untitled." Being a grad student, they always stress that we need to back up all our arguments with evidence! Also, I always tell my students that they have to support their arguments in their speeches with evidences! So, "I must practice what I preach (quote: Jasmine Tan)." Here, I'll throw you some evidences:

1. A song by the group Simple Plan is titled "untitled"
2. An Indoensian song by Maliq & d'essentials is called "untitled"
3. There is a Christian song by Chris Rice also called "untitled hymn"

But, but, but, I am not just one of those copycats! The main reason is, I just don't know what I should put as a title. So, that's why!

Anyways, nothing much for me to blog today. Did some readings for my thesis in the morning. Came home tired and bored, so I decided to take this quiz that they have on the net. It says, "what kind of chocolate are you?" Haha! A very corny quiz. Hey, I was bored! What can I say? But anyways, this is my result!

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You should try and let me know what kind of chocolate you are! Oh, did I mention it only works for girls? Sorry, guys!

good bye?

2006-01-20T16:44:00.000-06:00

Yeah! I was missing in action. After taking the GRE test, I was just not in the mood of blogging at all. Well, kinda busy with other stuffs too like doing the Valentine's event prep and so on. Anyway, nothing much for me to update. But, now I sure have something to share.

In our walk with the Lord, sometimes we need to let go of something, 'something' or even someone that distracts us from focusing on Him. Growing up in a Christian family, I've heard of many sermons on this and known this 'theory' by heart. The last time He asked me to give up on what I really appreaciate in my life was in summer 2004. Although I was mad, sad and totally miserable at that time; now, I'm very grateful that I did what I had to do.

During my devotional time this morning, God revealed that there is 'something' in my life that I need to give up. My friends have been telling me about it. They said I always go for something that is 'unavailable.' The ones that are avaliable are always not attractive to me. I kinda sensed it since the mid of last year; but I 'igonered' it hoping that God will change His mind. Too bad, what I thought is obviously not what God thinks. I know it's gonna be beautiful in the end. I believe in that. However, I sure can't deny that the journey will be tough.

Well, good byes are always hard...

This is it!!

2006-01-02T14:26:00.000-06:00

Yes! This is it!
After craming for about two weeks.
Memorizing all those words that I've never heard of.
Going everywhere (walmart, dillons, the mall, and practically everywhere) with my notecards, vocabulary lists and my gigantic GRE books just so that I feel better.
Practicing the math problems.
Pulling my hair.
Scratching my head.
Having nightmares about being late for the test, getting a very low score and even missing the test itself.
Screaming.
Giving up.
Praying.
Scratching my head.
Screaming.
Giving up.
Praying.
Almost crying.
Giving up.
Praying.
Screaming again.
Almost crying again.
Giving up again.
And, praying again.

This is it! Yeap, this is it! I'm taking the test in about an hour. Am I ready? Absolutely not!
Do I remember all the words that I memorized? Definetely not.
Am I comfortable with the math yet? Of course not.

But, for some reason I just have the peace in my heart. And I know that God has given me that peace. I know that He's with me no matter what. So, even if I don't do well later, I have the assurance that all is well in Him!

Thank you very much, The Mission for your endless love, supports and prayers. Thank you my other friends for putting up with me when I was grouchy, irritating, and irascible (here comes my GRE word!! haha!)!! So once again, this is it, guys!!!!

I'm going to the battlefield shortly!

Tata!

My heart and thoughts go for Mr. Joey....

2005-12-30T17:22:00.000-06:00

We did some rearrangement of the apartment today. Exchanged the loveseat with a bigger sofa. As we did all those cleaning and organizing, all those really remind us of our precious 'lil man, Joey... He used to hide underneath the loveseat everytime we chased him or everytime we vacuumed the apartment. That's just his hiding place.. He also used that to play PEEK-A-BOO with us... Often times, he sat with me and just kept me a company... It's so sad to see him go..

About seven months ago, we were faced with a very tough decision. Joey was diagnosed with a portosystemic shunt disease. As foreign as it sounds to all of you, it did to us too. I couldn't believe that my own precious baby was diagnozed with a disease that killed. Options were laid out on the table for the three of us. First, is to put him on a surgery. If we had decided to do that, the nearest towns we could go were Stillwater, OK or Manhattan, KS. Although it costed a lot, the vet did say, she would not guarantee that he could survive because he's just to young to expereince that surgery. Bottom line, he could go away at that very moment. Second option was simply not doing anything with it. The vet said he probably could survive for another 5 years. But, it also didnt close the probability that we could lose him before that 5 years.

I did lots and lots of research and crying knowing that any treatment option could be wrong for him. Prayed for him. And tried to take care of him the best I could. I wanted so much to know what decision was best for him. Today, I really wish that I was given that choices again. It didn't mean I would know the answer to my choice today or choose the complete opposite option to what we decided. But, simply knowing that Joey would still be here with us...

Joey was our first dog that we really took care... But I know that as a very little pug who was only five months old, Joey fought bravely to live.. I also believe that Joey had been through so much and was just too exhausted to keep fighting... Joey passed away about six months ago (June 27, 2005), one month after he was diagnosed with the disease...

Four months being with Joey was definetely too short for me... But in that four months, Joey brought lotsa joy, love, laughters and of course beautiful memories to the three of us... Even all of his funny actions are still vivid in my mind...

"I wish I could go through all that frustration and worrying again.
Because it would mean you were still here.
Mommy misses you, Joey."

Love this song...

2005-12-28T13:56:00.000-06:00

"Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid ..."

"If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one "

The Mission's Core Team Members Retreat

2005-12-27T15:12:00.000-06:00

Remember the entry that I posted titled "An Awakening Weekend?" Here's some pictures taken during the free time at the retreat...

]

After all those snow fights, the girls were exhausted! Once we found a comfy sofa, we're gone! Yes, within that second! But apparently, some people were still up for no good!!

We just want to wish you a blessed Christmas!

2005-12-27T14:33:00.000-06:00

May the joy, peace and hope be with you as we celebrate this wonderful day!
God bless you in everything you do!

From:
The Hendra sisters

The Mission's Christmas Celebration

2005-12-27T14:30:00.000-06:00

Somehow I'm really looking forward to May 2006....

2005-12-21T20:16:00.000-06:00

An awakening weekend...

2005-12-18T16:45:00.000-06:00

Just got back from a retreat in Salina a 'lil bit ago. I think the retreat went well overall... It's supposed to be a retreat to sharpen our vision as individuals and as a church... The sessions spoke to me specially the 2nd part about Vision Intention Means.. We all can have great visions for life but without Intention (the doing part), the visions mean nothing...

I started having all kinds of feelings and excitements that I really want to devote myself to The Mission for the last six months I'm here in Wichita. I don't know where God's going to move me after that. Although it doesnt close the door that He may want me to stay here for a 'lil longer than I thought....

When I listened to the sessions, I really had mixed feelings... In one way, I was very excited about what God has planned for the Mission.. I even prayed, You know what God? I'm game for anything You want me to do! Just show me! But on the other hand, I was sad when I looked at my brothers and sisters as we sat at the table and listened to the message. I can only enjoy being around these people for another six months only! Boy, that's too fast!

But then, when we got to the last session, my mixed feelings turned to be a sadness. Pure sadness... We talked about the means that we shall take for the Mission... At that moment, I started to realize that we may not share the same vision all along... It doesnt mean that it is bad.. Not at all... And it's so true what my brothers said that our ministry should glorify God not ourselves. We should follow what God wants not what we want... I completely agree with that. And I totally agree with all the definitions of church and everything as explained during the retreat. I have nothing against that... Because those are true and very biblical....

During the trip coming back home, I started to think about a lot of stuffs... and all these problems that I'm feeling may just be because it's me... I am not saying I want to follow what I want rather than what God wants... But the traditions and the rituals that I have engaged in for the past twenty something years have just been internalized in me...

I'm sure it would be very selfish for me to say what we should do.. Because that means we're not following God's will as a church... However, I also think that I will not glorify God if I follow that vision because I'm not pleasing God in my life, rather, I will be pleasing my dearest friends....

I hope you all will pray for this as we go through some changes.. that the Mission will follow God's will no matter what it is.. and that I will follow God's will and vision in my life, even if it is different than the rest of them....

2005-12-16T18:14:00.000-06:00

Father, I need the strength and courage to carry this on...
Father, lead me to Your righteousness..
Father, show me Your awesome power more and more in my life..
Father, hold me close to You so that I can hold on to You...
Father, without You by my side, I'm hopeless...
All my days are gifts from You..
I pray that you give me the wisdom that I use my days according to Your plan...
That I use them as You want me to...
Thank you, Father for holding my life in Your hands...

This is my life I surrender
by True Worshipper

"You've opened up my eyes to see You, Lord
You've turned my life around in righteousness
There is nothing more precious than to be in Your presence
And to see You by my side

This is my life, I surrender before Your throne
I bend my knees, I surrender to worship You
I lift my voice to sing Your praises
Be magnified and be glorified today..."

Our christmas tree is up!!

2005-12-14T15:40:00.000-06:00

Yay!! Our Christmas tree is up!! Thanks to Cuyang for the wonderful tree! I love it!! This Christmas tree has lights inside, so I don't need to get extra lights. It spins!! Hohoho!! And guess what! It sings too!! Hahaha! I guess, the three girls are gonna start singing our Christmas carols!!

Craming...

2005-12-14T02:57:00.000-06:00

It's 2 minutes before 3 a.m. and I'm still up. I'm pulling my hair now! I'm such a procrastinator. Should've listened to my parents and my buddy since long time ago. Craming for GRE is not fun at all! How am I gonna eat up thousands of giant words in 9 days? Goodness! I'm so nervous....

By the end if this year, I'll be bold! I think I need to shop for some wigs now. Any suggestion in terms of style? Maybe I should try short hair.. hmmmm.... *thinking*

Oh, I promised someone!

2005-12-12T20:27:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I promised someone last Thursday nite.. We were talking about things that we need to enjoy for the next few months due to the uncertainty of international students' lives after graduation... Okay, lets put it this way... What are the things that we should enjoy while we're still here in America....

And I promised my friend that I will list those on my blog.
Okay, you! Yes, you!! You know I'm talking to you!!
So, here's for you...

1. Scraping the ice on the car during winter
2. Wearing those puffy jackets
3. T-Mobile to T-Mobile free
4. 500 text messages per month
5. Sitting at the RSC to chit-chat
6. Weather reports
7. Flying and receiving "aeroplanes"
8. Driving on the right lane

Hey, I don't remember the rest laaa.... Too much laughing that time! That's the best I can do... Didn't mean to fly "aeroplane," coz it was supposed to be on here by Friday.. At least I try lah! Happy or not?? 3 more months ehhhh...... Haha!