My book...

Life is like a book. Has different chapters. Has different characters that come and go. Has angels (the ones people will like) and devils (the ones that make people mad). My life has different chapters and people who are significant to the events in life and the ones who just pass by or watch from the distance.

Recently I found my "timeline" that we did in church about two years ago. It was an activity using different colors of "post-it" sticky paper. Red to identify crisis in life; yellow to identify significant event in my life. There were people that are significant in my life that have been around from the time I was born till now. There were people who were significant in my life back then and now dissapear. There were names that showed up during my teenage and college years. But there was one name I noticed that has never disappeared. Yes, it's Jesus...

I really wouldn't have been here right now, if it wasn't by His grace and mercy. With all the things that I went through this past week, God spoke to me in many ways. I still can't change what has happened. I still can't remove the heartache till now. But, I know I have hope...

So friends,
If I got you worried this few days, I'm sorry..
If you had to be on the phone with me for hours listening to whatever nonsense I had, I'm sorry..
If you had to deal with all this, I'm sorry...
If you asked and asked and never got an answer, I'm sorry...

I'm ending that blue chapter in my 'book' now and moving on to my next chapter...

Thanks for all the prayers.
Thanks for all the e-mails.
Thanks for all the minutes you wasted.
Thanks for all the encouraging words.
Thanks for all the hours you spent staying up late with me.
Thanks for all the songs you gave me.
Thanks for everything...

LeeYa

What in the world was I thinking?

Until today, I still can't believe that this is the route that I chose. I still can't believe that these are the things that I chose to do. I had the options to choose coursework instead of thesis for my last hours in grad school. But, guess what! I chose thesis hours. I think I just love to act smart; while I'm really not. Then, looking back at two and a half years ago, oh mannnn! I can't even believe I chose to enter the graduate program.

Not saying that it's been bad all the way. There were sure lots of good and sweet memories in grad school. But still, what was I even thinking at that time?

I think I will still ask the same question on my graduation day or even when I attend my kids' graduations! Hahaha! Why did mommy go to grad school again?

Gosh, I'm burnt out...
Mom, Dad, I wanna go home.....

Lee Ya is desperately begging you for help!!

Hey everyone...

As many of you know, I'm currently on the last phase of my graduate school carreer. So, in order to graduate and actually get out of this lovely Elliott School of Communication, I have to do my thesis. Some of you are probably aware of the topic that I'm doing; while some aren't. But, don't worry!

Just a little bit of my study, my research is about Friendster. yes, Friendster!! I'm sure a lot of you know about this fun site! Part of the methodology that I'm using is survey. This survey is designed to see how popular Friendster is among Southeast Asians. But, since Southeast Asia is kinda big, I have limited the countries to: Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. I'm also investigating about the common usage of Friendster and whether it has been unofficially turned into an online dating site.

Now you probably wonder, what does it get to do with me? Here it is! If you are from one of those countries I mentioned above, please take just two minutes (Yes! Just two minutes! It's a real short survey) of your busy time and fill out this survey. If you want to pass this survey to your other Southeast Asian friends too, that is even better! Below is the link to the survey:

Okay, I want to help Lee Ya with her survey!

For your information, this is completely voluntary. You don't have to do it, if you don't want to. And, it's also anonymous.

So again, Lee Ya really really needs your help... Please, please, please, please, pleaseeeee!! Thank you very much. Your help is greatly appreciated!!

Once again, Lee Ya was late...

Heard a very bad news today. A member of our church passed away yesterday afternoon. I was stunned, speechless, shocked, you name it! I know she has been sick for a while. We visited her every now and then. The last time Yong Chen and I visited her was on the 30th of December. This couple was very excited when we came over. I still remember what she said when we just stepped in to their house, "How have you been? I've been worried about you guys!"

I told her that we've been really busy with finals, christmas party and other things. Although those are true, I still felt bad. This couple did not have anyone in Wichita. And I felt that those are just 'excuses.' Before we left that night, I asked her if there's anything that I could pray for before we leave. She suddenly broke down into tears. Two wishes that she had. One is that she could go back to church. Two is that God would heal her. She had been really sick. She kept crying when I prayed for her. I hugged her after that and she said she loved us (The Mission).

I talked to her again last weekend for the last time. She told me that she was gonna come for the Valentine event. I was excited to hear that. But then right before 6 p.m. she left a message on my cellphone saying that it was just too cold to both of them that night, so they decided not to come.

Sunday afternoon, a friend of mine said that her husband woke up that morning found out that she wasn't really breathing. They then took her to the hospital. Her husband is Indonesian and his English is really really limited. He couldn't really understand what the doctor said. So, he wanted me and Cuyang to go over the hospital on tuesday morning to be his translators because the doctor wanted to talk to him and his family; and they had to make a very important decision.

I was scared and nervous. I prayed real hard that Monday night. I was scared that I wouldn't understand some medical terms. I didn't want to mislead him when he had to make a very important decision.

I still came that Tuesday morning to the hospital. She was lying on the bed unconcious. But, we saw a progress! She had some responses when we touched her. I thought there's still hope. Her husband said, "Amelia, would you lead us in prayer?" So, I did. While we were waiting for the doctor to come, I felt miserable. The thoughts about all the events with her came to my mind.

I felt even worse when her husband showed me a piece of paper that she wrote for him couple days before she was in coma. The paper contained few names and phone numbers. She told him that if anything happened to her call these four people. Those people were her three children and me. Yes, it was me, Amelia Hendra. I saw it with my very own eyes. I felt really bad because out of all those four people, I was the only one who live in Wichita! So I promised myself. You know what? Once she's out of the hospital, I will visit her more often. She's lonely. She needs someone.

Once again, I was too late. Now she's gone. I feel bad, guilty, and again terrible. Whatever that I thought I was gonna do is just too late. Looking back at last semester and this semester, yes I have been busy with a lot of stuffs. But the truth is I still had time. I could have taken one Friday night to go over her house and visit rather than sitting at home. I could have taken one evening to stop by her house for just half an hour rather than chatting on MSN or doing whatever nonsense that I did. Although I didn't mean to "ignore" her, somehow I chose to stay home and did all those.

Totally a big lesson for me to learn today. I know a lot of people say it's the heart that counts. Someone even told me one time that if you have the heart, no matter how late you are, things will work out. I'm not sure if I translated it right, but anyway. I really regret the things that have happened.

Sometimes we don't know how important people are in our lives until we "lose" them. Today, I really wanna encourage all of you who read my blog that if you care or love someone, show them that you care before it is too late. Show them that you love them , before your time is up...

What does your name say?

Got this from one of those forward emails today. I just thought it's pretty interesting. And somehow clicks? I dunno! Just check this out!

Does your name begin with:

A
U are particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.


B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .

E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.

I
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.

K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".

M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

T
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life. !

U
You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.

W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.

Y
You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.

I changed the song!

Yeap, after about 6 months, I finally decided to change the song on my blog. I really love this song!

So sweet......

Well, everyone seems like in the mood of Valentine! This my friend who happens to be my neighbor was actually found as the most romantic person in the block! Haha! Yes, the block of Olde English Manor!

When others plan for dinner, movie, or ice cream to celebrate this Valentine's day, this person actually have secretly, quietly and rushingly planned a trip to Boston! Yes, the ticket has been booked and issued! So, it's confirmed that this person is leaving!

On top of that, this person leaves at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning! Mann, talking about sacrifice! When I asked about this whole trip, a simple yet powerful statement was thrown at me, "Love is about giving!"

Yes, dude! I agree! Well, to sum it up, I just wanted to wish you all the best for your Valentine! And Danny Santanu, I'm so proud of you!!!

You made my day!

Got a very simple text message this morning from a friend who I have not been in touch with for quite sometime... Maybe it was just a mass message that was sent to everyone, but somehow it just made my day... Friends do have a powerful capability to brighten my days!

Girl, I thought you were mad at me!! Happy Valentine's day to you too! Hope you have a good one! Miss ya!

And it is Valentine!

Just as much as I prayed that the Valentine's event would speak to those who came, God really made the message personal for me too. Valentine's day is described as a day to celebrate love. Last nite, we at the Mission gathered and celebrated this very day together with another 104 people at the CAC Theater. Surely more that we expected.

Love is something that many people like to talk about. Some smile; some laugh; some even cry when they remember their loved ones; and their memories of love. Everyone has their own definition of love. Last night, I began to learn again about the definition of love:

1. Love is a choice
2. Love is giving
3. Love is unconditional

Out of all the definitions of love that my friends, the Hollywood, and those magazines offer, I love what the bible says about love.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,
they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away."

Everytime I read this, I just feel that love is portrayed beautifully here. What I can testify here is I'm so glad that God chose me to be one of His children. I'm glad that I get to know all this knowledge.

So today, one of my friends from Penang reminded me that today is the last day of Chinese New Year, which is also known as the lunar's valentine or the chinese's valentine. The story goes like this:

Chap Goh Meh – the Night of Romance

A fascinating Chap Goh Meh legend tells the story of a lonely young man who, during an outing on this very significant night, was suddenly enraptured by the most beautiful sight he ever laid eyes on. Who was this exquisitely delicate beauty driving by in all her finery, he wondered. Despite the excitement pounding in his heart, the hopeful young gentleman quickly jotted down the number of her car, lest he forgot. The very next day, he made enquiries as to who the car belonged to, and finally obtained the car owner's address. With great haste, he requested his mother to send a matchmaker to his dream girl's home to arrange the marriage. In his rush, the star-crossed optimist did not realise that the girl he had seen was not the daughter of the house but a visiting niece. And so on his wedding day, the poor groom found that instead of the radiant smiling girl he had expected, he was married to her fat and rather plain cousin. The story does have a rather happy ending though, as his wife was a wealthy woman!

Chap Goh Meh goes by a few names. In Mandarin it is called Yuan Xiao, but in the traditional Hokkien dialect of Penang, Chap Goh Meh means the 15th night of Chinese New Year. It is celebrated with prayers and offerings to mark the end of the Chinese New Year. During this auspicious occasion, houses are brightly decorated with lights and lanterns are hung over the balcony or five-foot ways for the last day of the Chinese New Year. Prayers to the ancestors are offered. Despite a ban, firecrackers are lit as a 'send-off' to the new year. The next day, people go back to work, businesses operate as usual and everyone is looking forward to the next hinese New Year.

Various activities are planned to mark this very traditional occasion but the two mainstays are the Dondang Sayang and orange/tangerine throwing ceremony. In the morning, nyonya households will distribute pengat, a sweet and rich broth of tubers and bananas to relatives and friends. As evening falls, the atmosphere relaxes as the gentle strains of Dondang Sayang fill the air. Dondang Sayang, literally meaning lullaby of love, is an interplay of sung poetry, usually revolving around the theme of love, between a man and a woman, each trying to outwit the other in the name of affection whilst traditional music plays in the background.

In the past, Chap Goh Meh was one of the few occasions where eligible young ladies, transformed into scorching beauties, were allowed out from the confines of their homes. Eager gentlemen could only admire longingly at all the passing beauties, as the lovely ladies were always accompanied by an entourage of the fiercest looking aunts and amahs (servants)! These young maidens (and spinsters) would throw oranges into the sea as a gesture of hope to wed good husbands. To keep this quaint tradition alive in modern times, orange throwing has transmogrified into a competition of sorts, where oranges thrown into the sea by girls (single
or otherwise) would be scooped up by boys in boats. The boat with most oranges would be declared the winner.
(http://www.tourismpenang.gov.my/articlePrint.cfm?id=28)

It's always interesting to me to learn how people celebrate things. I guess I'm gonna end this entry now, coz I need to buy oranges! Haha! Joking! Everyone out there, Lee Ya just wanted to wish you a....

Happy Valentine's day!

One of those nights

This semester will be very painful, frustrating and stressful. Writing thesis is not easy at all. Every Wednesday at 1 p.m. I'm always nervous walking in to Dr. Dooley's office. And always overwhelmed walking out of it. And everytime Becca knocks on my office's door, I always go, "alrite, she's going to the library again!"

Part of me said, "Who cares about thesis! Why didn't I choose coursework over thesis?" But a big part of me said, "I can do it! I'll get through it!" I couldn't really sleep last night thinking how my thesis is gonna be put together. The minute I got frustrated about it, another thought came. COMPS is approaching!!! Yeah, this is another scary part of graduate school. Now my important dates are set. And I'm walking slowly to get there!

COMPS: Saturday, April 1, 2006

Thesis Defense: Friday, April 28, 2006

This morning, as frustrated as I was last nite, I read this encouraging entry that Jasmine, my buddy, posted. It's funny how we think about the same thing at the same time.

"I just saw this in one of those forwarded emails, and its really going to be my motto as i sail the rough waters of thesis writing.

calm seas never make skillful sailors.

i know my goal is to finish writing. sometimes, especially during the afternoons, i doubt myself, and thought of just going home. deserting the stupid thesis and just walk away. sometimes, as i am holed up in my tiny apartment reading some difficult to understand words of wisdom, a tiny thought will creep in...."what is it like to do nothing but eat tons of red bean ice cream, and watch endless television now?"

you should see my buddy and i lugging the stacks of books home from the library. i have 10 big books, thick and square. she has more than 10, (cos' she's more kiasu) haha...we could barely walk with those books in our arms. and we each carry a heavy bag, with more notes and stationary in it.

you should see my buddy and i when we listen to other people's progress in their thesis writing. we listen in fear (that we can never catch up), and we listen in awe (at their accomplishment).

you should see my buddy and i when we reach shelf p96.15 (mass communication theory and criticism), or bf 375 (self identity), or HM 101 (cultural studies). yes, those are library indexes. we climb stools, stretch with our might to reach that precious books, nearly toppling over each other sometimes, posing real bodily harm to the other. we sprawl out on the dirty carpet of the library with books stack around us, just figuring which one we want to borrow. yes! we just sit around whereever we like, surrounded by treasure troves of thoughts written by people who have struggled before us. perhaps in the same fashion..

amelia, can you imagine Marshall McCluhan, or Stuart Hall, or John Fiske, or Chomsky scrambling in the library like us? or even Dooley, Huxman, Dr. Wang, Dr. Hertzog, WILLIAMSOM, boyle, armstrong, Judy Bergan, Sriramesh! all sitting on the library floor?

we are at the end, almost at the end, not at the end yet.

we strive to be

"top of the pop"
"stupid nevermind, must be very fast"
"get our acts together"

we are two graduate students, huddling close, trying to sail the rough waters....

I know we will be strong, skillful sailors!!

My ship is starting to sail, into troubled waters, is yours there yet?" (Tan, 2006)

I truly thank God that He put someone on my path as I walk through this painful journey.

Miss Jasmine Tan, I can already see the finish line from here!

Lets run!!!!!!!!

*By the way, this is a UMass' red!! *

The birth of a new communication scholar!

The new distinguish scholar in the area of computer-mediated communication has arrived. Her main area of interest is nonverbal communication among puggies,
human-doggy's social interaction, and the social use of language among puggies.
She's currently writing her Master's thesis under the supervision of Ms. Amelia Hendra.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our new and rising scholar, Ms. Baby Hendra!


Ms. Baby Hendra is working closely under Ms. Amelia Hendra's supervision


Ms. Amelia Hendra is pleased with Ms. Baby Hendra's research

"Home is where your heart is..."

Saw a picture with that quotation at my neighbor's door

when I came home today.

The thought of being home was constantly on my mind today.

I guess it's true... home is where your heart is....

We would like to wish you
a wonderful new doggy year!
Arrrfffff!!!

Love,
Amelia and Baby

Don't know what to do on Valentine's day? Don't know where to go? Don't know who you should spend the Valentine's day with? Or, don't know how to make your Valentine's day memorable? Don't worry! You are all invited to the second annual Valentine's celebration presented by The Mission college student ministry!

"I think I'm in Love"

Praise and Worship; romantic drama; dance and beautiful message specially packaged live for all of you. So, come and celebrate your Valentine with us:
Date: Saturday/February 11, 2006

Time: 6:00 p.m.

Location: CAC Theater Wichita State University.

For more information, please contact me!

Untitled

Noticed my title? Yeah, it's untitled! Seems like it's a trend now to have a title "untitled." Being a grad student, they always stress that we need to back up all our arguments with evidence! Also, I always tell my students that they have to support their arguments in their speeches with evidences! So, "I must practice what I preach (quote: Jasmine Tan)." Here, I'll throw you some evidences:

1. A song by the group Simple Plan is titled "untitled"
2. An Indoensian song by Maliq & d'essentials is called "untitled"
3. There is a Christian song by Chris Rice also called "untitled hymn"

But, but, but, I am not just one of those copycats! The main reason is, I just don't know what I should put as a title. So, that's why!

Anyways, nothing much for me to blog today. Did some readings for my thesis in the morning. Came home tired and bored, so I decided to take this quiz that they have on the net. It says, "what kind of chocolate are you?" Haha! A very corny quiz. Hey, I was bored! What can I say? But anyways, this is my result!

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You should try and let me know what kind of chocolate you are! Oh, did I mention it only works for girls? Sorry, guys!

good bye?

Yeah! I was missing in action. After taking the GRE test, I was just not in the mood of blogging at all. Well, kinda busy with other stuffs too like doing the Valentine's event prep and so on. Anyway, nothing much for me to update. But, now I sure have something to share.

In our walk with the Lord, sometimes we need to let go of something, 'something' or even someone that distracts us from focusing on Him. Growing up in a Christian family, I've heard of many sermons on this and known this 'theory' by heart. The last time He asked me to give up on what I really appreaciate in my life was in summer 2004. Although I was mad, sad and totally miserable at that time; now, I'm very grateful that I did what I had to do.

During my devotional time this morning, God revealed that there is 'something' in my life that I need to give up. My friends have been telling me about it. They said I always go for something that is 'unavailable.' The ones that are avaliable are always not attractive to me. I kinda sensed it since the mid of last year; but I 'igonered' it hoping that God will change His mind. Too bad, what I thought is obviously not what God thinks. I know it's gonna be beautiful in the end. I believe in that. However, I sure can't deny that the journey will be tough.

Well, good byes are always hard...

This is it!!

Yes! This is it!
After craming for about two weeks.
Memorizing all those words that I've never heard of.
Going everywhere (walmart, dillons, the mall, and practically everywhere) with my notecards, vocabulary lists and my gigantic GRE books just so that I feel better.
Practicing the math problems.
Pulling my hair.
Scratching my head.
Having nightmares about being late for the test, getting a very low score and even missing the test itself.
Screaming.
Giving up.
Praying.
Scratching my head.
Screaming.
Giving up.
Praying.
Almost crying.
Giving up.
Praying.
Screaming again.
Almost crying again.
Giving up again.
And, praying again.

This is it! Yeap, this is it! I'm taking the test in about an hour. Am I ready? Absolutely not!
Do I remember all the words that I memorized? Definetely not.
Am I comfortable with the math yet? Of course not.

But, for some reason I just have the peace in my heart. And I know that God has given me that peace. I know that He's with me no matter what. So, even if I don't do well later, I have the assurance that all is well in Him!

Thank you very much, The Mission for your endless love, supports and prayers. Thank you my other friends for putting up with me when I was grouchy, irritating, and irascible (here comes my GRE word!! haha!)!! So once again, this is it, guys!!!!

I'm going to the battlefield shortly!

Tata!

My heart and thoughts go for Mr. Joey....

We did some rearrangement of the apartment today. Exchanged the loveseat with a bigger sofa. As we did all those cleaning and organizing, all those really remind us of our precious 'lil man, Joey... He used to hide underneath the loveseat everytime we chased him or everytime we vacuumed the apartment. That's just his hiding place.. He also used that to play PEEK-A-BOO with us... Often times, he sat with me and just kept me a company... It's so sad to see him go..


About seven months ago, we were faced with a very tough decision. Joey was diagnosed with a portosystemic shunt disease. As foreign as it sounds to all of you, it did to us too. I couldn't believe that my own precious baby was diagnozed with a disease that killed. Options were laid out on the table for the three of us. First, is to put him on a surgery. If we had decided to do that, the nearest towns we could go were Stillwater, OK or Manhattan, KS. Although it costed a lot, the vet did say, she would not guarantee that he could survive because he's just to young to expereince that surgery. Bottom line, he could go away at that very moment. Second option was simply not doing anything with it. The vet said he probably could survive for another 5 years. But, it also didnt close the probability that we could lose him before that 5 years.

I did lots and lots of research and crying knowing that any treatment option could be wrong for him. Prayed for him. And tried to take care of him the best I could. I wanted so much to know what decision was best for him. Today, I really wish that I was given that choices again. It didn't mean I would know the answer to my choice today or choose the complete opposite option to what we decided. But, simply knowing that Joey would still be here with us...



Joey was our first dog that we really took care... But I know that as a very little pug who was only five months old, Joey fought bravely to live.. I also believe that Joey had been through so much and was just too exhausted to keep fighting... Joey passed away about six months ago (June 27, 2005), one month after he was diagnosed with the disease...

Four months being with Joey was definetely too short for me... But in that four months, Joey brought lotsa joy, love, laughters and of course beautiful memories to the three of us... Even all of his funny actions are still vivid in my mind...



"I wish I could go through all that frustration and worrying again.
Because it would mean you were still here.
Mommy misses you, Joey."

Love this song...

"Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid ..."

"If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one "

The Mission's Core Team Members Retreat

Remember the entry that I posted titled "An Awakening Weekend?" Here's some pictures taken during the free time at the retreat...



]




After all those snow fights, the girls were exhausted! Once we found a comfy sofa, we're gone! Yes, within that second! But apparently, some people were still up for no good!!

We just want to wish you a blessed Christmas!

May the joy, peace and hope be with you as we celebrate this wonderful day!
God bless you in everything you do!

From:
The Hendra sisters

The Mission's Christmas Celebration

Somehow I'm really looking forward to May 2006....

An awakening weekend...

Just got back from a retreat in Salina a 'lil bit ago. I think the retreat went well overall... It's supposed to be a retreat to sharpen our vision as individuals and as a church... The sessions spoke to me specially the 2nd part about Vision Intention Means.. We all can have great visions for life but without Intention (the doing part), the visions mean nothing...

I started having all kinds of feelings and excitements that I really want to devote myself to The Mission for the last six months I'm here in Wichita. I don't know where God's going to move me after that. Although it doesnt close the door that He may want me to stay here for a 'lil longer than I thought....

When I listened to the sessions, I really had mixed feelings... In one way, I was very excited about what God has planned for the Mission.. I even prayed, You know what God? I'm game for anything You want me to do! Just show me! But on the other hand, I was sad when I looked at my brothers and sisters as we sat at the table and listened to the message. I can only enjoy being around these people for another six months only! Boy, that's too fast!

But then, when we got to the last session, my mixed feelings turned to be a sadness. Pure sadness... We talked about the means that we shall take for the Mission... At that moment, I started to realize that we may not share the same vision all along... It doesnt mean that it is bad.. Not at all... And it's so true what my brothers said that our ministry should glorify God not ourselves. We should follow what God wants not what we want... I completely agree with that. And I totally agree with all the definitions of church and everything as explained during the retreat. I have nothing against that... Because those are true and very biblical....

During the trip coming back home, I started to think about a lot of stuffs... and all these problems that I'm feeling may just be because it's me... I am not saying I want to follow what I want rather than what God wants... But the traditions and the rituals that I have engaged in for the past twenty something years have just been internalized in me...

I'm sure it would be very selfish for me to say what we should do.. Because that means we're not following God's will as a church... However, I also think that I will not glorify God if I follow that vision because I'm not pleasing God in my life, rather, I will be pleasing my dearest friends....

I hope you all will pray for this as we go through some changes.. that the Mission will follow God's will no matter what it is.. and that I will follow God's will and vision in my life, even if it is different than the rest of them....

Father, I need the strength and courage to carry this on...
Father, lead me to Your righteousness..
Father, show me Your awesome power more and more in my life..
Father, hold me close to You so that I can hold on to You...
Father, without You by my side, I'm hopeless...
All my days are gifts from You..
I pray that you give me the wisdom that I use my days according to Your plan...
That I use them as You want me to...
Thank you, Father for holding my life in Your hands...


This is my life I surrender
by True Worshipper

"You've opened up my eyes to see You, Lord
You've turned my life around in righteousness
There is nothing more precious than to be in Your presence
And to see You by my side

This is my life, I surrender before Your throne
I bend my knees, I surrender to worship You
I lift my voice to sing Your praises
Be magnified and be glorified today..."

Our christmas tree is up!!

Yay!! Our Christmas tree is up!! Thanks to Cuyang for the wonderful tree! I love it!! This Christmas tree has lights inside, so I don't need to get extra lights. It spins!! Hohoho!! And guess what! It sings too!! Hahaha! I guess, the three girls are gonna start singing our Christmas carols!!

Craming...

It's 2 minutes before 3 a.m. and I'm still up. I'm pulling my hair now! I'm such a procrastinator. Should've listened to my parents and my buddy since long time ago. Craming for GRE is not fun at all! How am I gonna eat up thousands of giant words in 9 days? Goodness! I'm so nervous....

By the end if this year, I'll be bold! I think I need to shop for some wigs now. Any suggestion in terms of style? Maybe I should try short hair.. hmmmm.... *thinking*

Oh, I promised someone!

Yeah, I promised someone last Thursday nite.. We were talking about things that we need to enjoy for the next few months due to the uncertainty of international students' lives after graduation... Okay, lets put it this way... What are the things that we should enjoy while we're still here in America....

And I promised my friend that I will list those on my blog.
Okay, you! Yes, you!! You know I'm talking to you!!
So, here's for you...

1. Scraping the ice on the car during winter
2. Wearing those puffy jackets
3. T-Mobile to T-Mobile free
4. 500 text messages per month
5. Sitting at the RSC to chit-chat
6. Weather reports
7. Flying and receiving "aeroplanes"
8. Driving on the right lane

Hey, I don't remember the rest laaa.... Too much laughing that time! That's the best I can do... Didn't mean to fly "aeroplane," coz it was supposed to be on here by Friday.. At least I try lah! Happy or not?? 3 more months ehhhh...... Haha!

I am so done!

After not making noise for quite sometimes, I am proud to say that I am totally done for this semester. Well, not quite! I still have to hand in my final project and take home exam to Bonnie this Wednesday. But I got it done last weekend and they are turned in as participation points only. In other words, you get credits as you turn them in. So, I am basically done! Done with all my course works for this degree. All I have left is my thesis hours which I'm sure will be a ton more interesting than those media buying stuffs. I still don't understand why I enrolled in that course until now... Hmmm, but that's okay. People learn from mistakes....

So, what do I have now? Hahaha! I have a big fat list that I need to do over the next few weeks. Interesting!
1. GRE (preparation + the actual test)
2. Going to library for my thesis lit review
3. Appointments after appointments with my dearest Dr. Dooley -- Don't get me wrong! She's an extremely nice lady. I really like her. I just don't like the idea that I'll be writing my thesis during the break... :(
4. Reorganize my notes and everything that I need for COMPS
5. And some other obligations that I've agreed to do...

Those lists may be big for me. But, as I saw people graduated yesterday at the Koch Arena, I'm sure I can't even express the satisfaction and happiness when I walk across that very stage in May. I really can't wait for that moment to come. But then, I still have to pass my thesis defense and COMPS. Oh GOD! Isn't it very painful when you dream dream dream then your dream got snatched away for a moment because you just realize that you'll never get there before you pass the big huge giant test?

Mannn, next semester is gonna be another interesting one....

I miss my baby Joey...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Had a 'lil bit of snow today... The weather channel said that we're gonna have more snow tonight... My goodness! I'm feeling the christmas spirit! Ohhh! I feel so Chrismassy nowww! (Is there such word?)

All I Want for Christmas..

I'm so in the mood of Christmas today. Every time the word Christmas pops up, I do remember the greatest sacrifice that the Lord has done for me personally. That's for sure...

On the different note, Christmas does bring a lot of things to my mind. As I was growing up, my family always celebrated Christmas together. A lot of times we tried to celebrate this very precious event with our extended family whenever it was possible. But now, distance just makes it so hard for our family to reunite... I'm still not used to it yet, however sometimes we've just got to accept things the way it is...

Christmas has always been the best seasons of my life. My ideas of Christmas when I was young were snow, bells ringing (ching! ching! ching!), christmas songs played when we are walking at the mall, christmas trees and of course presentssss!!

Anyway, as I was blogging, this song just kept coming to my mind. Yeah, a song when I was in junior high school..

All I want for Christmas is you...
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true ...
All I want for Christmas
Is you ...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come treu
All I want for Christmas is you ...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You ...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one
I really need - won't you please
Bring my baby to me ...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to se baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas
Is you ...

All I want for Christmas
Is you baby
Is you baby

You probably wonder who the "you" or the "baby" refers to...
And yeah! They refer to Miss PUGGYYYYYYY!!!
I hope my parents read my blog now!
And Mommmmm, Dadddd!
I want a pug badly this Christmas!
Pleaseeeee.........!!!!!!!
*Lee Ya is crossing her fingers*

home sweet home...

Chatted with some old friends from high school and junior high today. All of them studied abroad and now are home for good. And as always, our conversations were filled with those school memories... Dengg, I miss home! I guess the phase "home sweet home" is really true, huh?

It's Thanksgiving....

It's Thanksgiving now!
I didn't really celebrate this day when I was back home.
My parents always taught us that we should give thanks to the Lord every single day, minute and second. But, since everyone in the nation celebrates Thanksgiving today, I might as well do it too!

For the past 24 years I have been very grateful with what I have in life.
I have wonderful parents who I can always count on in every situation.
I have terrific sisters who brighten my days with everything they do.
Well, sometimes they make my days blue too (haha!), but they are my sisters!
I have great church that is growing in Him.
I have fantastic friends here in Wichita and back home.
One thing that I'm very thankful for is that
I have a chance to get my education here in the United States.

Looking at my 24 years journey in life,
I've never thought I would do what I do today.
God opens up one door at a time for me.
God shows me what it takes to be His follower.
God gives me visions for life.

And I believe for the next coming years,
God will always continue being there when I need Him.
God will always continue carrying me through my struggles in life.
God will always continue guiding me in every step that I take.
And God will fulfill His promise in my life!
Wherever I'll be located after graduation next May,
I know for sure that He will show His power...

Mannn, I would never trade Him for anything else in this world!
If I had to summarize all those in one sentence,
I would proudly say, "I am truly blessed!"
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

"Father, thank you for all You've done and for all You're going to do.
I'm thankful for who You are and how You mean to me. Amen!"

Thanksgiving Dinner...

You are all welcomed to join us for our Thanksgiving Dinner!

Venue: Olde English Manor Apartment's Club House
2323 N. Woodlawn
Wichita, KS 67220
Date : Sunday, November 26, 2005
Time : 4:30 p.m.

It's gonna be very informal.
Bring your friends and loved ones!
Call me, if you have any question!
See you there!

I left my heart in Boston....

So, I came back yesterday afternoon from a fabolous trip to Boston. As some of you know, I went there for the 91st National Communication Association Convention. Packed my bags on Tuesday nite and left Wichita very early in the morning on Wednesday. A lot of things stood out from the trip and I'm gonna share just a bit of what I experienced in Boston. The rest, of course, I'll keep it for myself...

The conference itself was great. I got to bring back lotsa papers to add to my precious 'Conference's Papers' collection. I went to some panels related to Interpersonal Communication and Human Communication and Technology. The conference really spoke to me. Although I felt so little surronded by famous scholars and those intelligent and brilliant doctoral students, I was totally fascinated! I feel that they speak my 'language.' Yes, my 'language.'I feel that I belong to that world. I feel that the questions that were raised about the paper I presented really add to my curiosity. I feel inspired to expand my research. This whole conference made me think, "Should I take this route? Should I just not care about the social stigma that I've encountered for the past months? Should I just close my eyes and ears and pursue what I really want in life? Or, should I take another route and run away from my dream?"

On Friday, Jasmine and I toured the Harvard University. The whole school environment and seeing students walking by really made me feel that this is the community where I want to be for the rest of my life. Well, not necessarily going to Harvard for school. But, I just feel that I want to be surrounded by college students for the rest of my life wherever I am. I love the smell of the old books. I love the excitement of having AHA moments when it comes to research. I love collecting conference's papers. And, I love going for conferences and meeting those people who speak my 'language.'

On Saturday, Jasmine and I went to Quincy Market for lighting ceremony. Again, Amelia was totally excited. With the very cold weather; with people walking around with their loved ones, their children, their families, their friends; with the extra thick coats, hats and scarfs that people were wearing; and the most beautiful one is, with the sound of Christmas songs played by those trumpets and trombones; Amelia was stunned. This is something that I've been dreaming of about Christmas, my favorite season of all times.

This Boston trip was great! It was fabolous! It was perfect!

My whole idea of Christmas was redefined.
My whole idea of life was reintroduced.
And, my whole heart was left there....

LeeYa "met" her bestfriend from grade school!

So, I was really surprised to see one of my bestfriends during grade school stopped by my 'lil corner and wrote a comment!

Hello Destriiii! What's uppp! We had so much fun back in those old days. Did lots of girly girly stuffs. Went to so many birthday parties at the Kentucky Fried Chicken over at Gajah Mada Plaza. Is that restaurant even still there? Oh man! Those years was filled with loads of fun!

Oh yeah! I also remember that we were in a dance team? Hahaha! What was I thinking? I didn't even know how to dance! But apparently, we always danced for our school's Christmas events. I was out of my mind, apparently. I also remembered that our make-up was always thick! When I looked at our pics from grade school, I always thought, "Denggg, we looked scary!!" Hahaha! That was so embarassing! What were we thinking??

And look at us now! We are all grown up! The last time I knew she was Ms. Destri Elita Subakti and now she is already Mrs. Destri Andorf! And you work as a graphic designer now? Where at? Still in Ames, Iowa? Way to go, girl!

Thinking about those crazy days really makes me wanna go back to my childhood period. I guess that's the neatest thing about children's lives. We dare to do a lot of stupid stuffs and we don't even realize that what we do is actually plain stupid. We always thought we were some big shots or something! haha.. But of course, without all those stupid memories, there won't be a big smile on my face today....

Hey, thanks for reminding me all these sweet memories! It's always interesting to meet with old friends and talk about what happened last time. Like when I met Anthonio and Winston over the summer when I went back home.. Oh my goodness! I got to know all kinds of stories that they've been hiding from me... It's also encouraging to know that our friends are doing well with their jobs and life in general... Hope everything is going well with ya too, Des!

Well, that's a bit of our fun and sweet memories from grade school. I guess grade school can now be spelled as G R E A T school!

So friends, let me introduce you to my grade school buddy, Destri Andorf! Simply click on my friends' list to meet her!

LeeYa is daydreaming....

"Exactly at this time next week, I'll be enjoying and breathing the air of the beautiful city of Boston.... I'll probably be eating sushi or roasted duck or chicken rice or steak or, or, or I may be even zipping my taro bubble tea while strolling downtown... Yeah, I don't have to be worried about anything, because I'll be done with my presentation! Hmmm... even just a bit of this "Boston thought" already sets me on the mood of travelling! Oh my goodness, it feels so good to daydream!!! So Boston, I can't wait to see you next week!!"

wish

someday, somehow, I may understand why certain things are the way they are...

Lebaran euyyyy....!!!

So here I am blogging again... I found myself pretty active lately... Well, well, well! I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish my friends who celebrate Eid, "Selamat Lebaran! Minal Aidin Wal Faizin!"

We went to this Hari Raya party at one of the Indonesian families here in Wichita. And as always, there is one thing that you'll never regret going for Indonesian parties. It is yummy food!

And because today was Lebaran, the food was exceptional! Oh yeah! There were lots of food. Oh man! I wanted to try everything on the table, but of course with the sore throat and cough that I have now, I kinda have to behave myself a bit. Specially with that long email my mom sent this morning, "Don't eat too much spicy food, okay?" Then a friend of mine kinda said the same thing also before I left to the party today. So, yeah, I tried to control myself. But there is one dish that I just can't resist. I just got to have it. It's "Gule Telor." Yummmm! It was good and spicyyyy!

For many of you, it may not be one thing that you will find interesting. But I can assure you that my Boston friend a.k.a Huan would be extremely jelaous! Hahahha! SO, Huan, here's what we had at the party: Ketupat, Gule Telor, Sayur Lodeh, Ikan Pesmol, Opor Ayam, Kering Tempe, Tempe Mendoan, Perkedel, Rendang.... Kangen ga Huannn???? Hahahhahahaa!

LeeYa's mid-semester syndrome kicks in

After all the excitements that I had for the past few weeks; the screaming that I did in front of my students; the trips I've made to campus to study and do my assignments even when I didn't have classes to take or to teach; the walkings under the keep-on-changing weather; I started feeling drowsy and just not well. I began to develop a cough and my throat is just so painful. I started losing my voice too. I can't afford losing my voice now. I need it to sing at church. I need it to teach. And, I definetely need it for my presentation at the NCA.

This is really not a good time for me to be sick. NCA is only two weeks away and I'm not even prepared. I haven't thought of what I should do for community involvement project for COMM 865. And my media buying class is killing me.

I guess what my parents said was true. You can't do everything at the same time. Hmmm, I really can't afford to be sick now. And somehow, I'm realy looking forward to the Thanksgiving break. Yeah, I need a break... a niceeee break!

Boo!

Was kinda late for my second class that I tought today. I wasn't late late...
I came in on the dot. Yes, exactly at 9:30 a.m. thinking that this is just another day.

The door was closed, and I was really in a hurry to go in to the classroom. The minute I opened the door, my students, specially those boys, shouted "BOO!" And, when things like this happen, I, as always, scream real loud! My sisters can sure testify on this matter...

And guess what! That's what I did too today! Yeap, Miss Hendra screamed in front of her students today! But, luckily all the papers and books that she was carrying were still in placed. And we were all laughing after that...

I think my face turned blue and red after that. Blue because I was scared! Real scared! And red because, of course, I was embarrased for screaming in front of my students.

There goes my credibility! Oh well....

Forgetful LeeYa...

It's the second time in a week! I totally forgot that I have a Media Buying test! Last week I totally forgot too. And, weirdest part is, they're both for Media Buying class. Mann, what's wrong with me?? So, I'm now frantically studying in my lovely office! Arrghhh I'm so sleepyyyyyy......

Perception...

Perception.

It's something that you can't control, yet it is there.
No matter what you do, no matter what you say, people are constantly 'judging' you. Although they don't know the hidden motives that you have; why you do certain things; why you mingle with certain groups; why you talk about certain things; the bottom line is you are 'that' kind of a person.

You can't help it. You can't say anything. It's out of your hands.

So, does perception equals to assumption? Perhaps. Not always, but it can certainly lead to that. The hardest part to accept is when the person who's making assumption is someone who you think knows you well.

Too good to be true.....

A lot of things were confirmed today.
God is great!
He spoke right into my heart.

My visions were sharpened..
My questions were answered...
My doubts were removed...

"Father, I thank You for the great day.
I thank You for a great service.
I thank You for being who You are.
I thank You for the privilege to serve a great Master.
And my master is You.
I thank you for things that You've planned for me ahead of a time.
Father, I ask that You guide me,
You lead me,
and You walk beside me each and every day.
Thank you, Father for Your blessings!
In Jesus name I pray!
Amen..."

My confession...

Dear LeeYa's 'lil corner's readers,

I have a confession to make.

I've been getting congratulations e-cards, emails and comments about the dog's pics I posted few days ago. I have not gotten the dog yet. I have not bought her yet. What happened was, my sisters and I went to this small petshop here in town, and they have this pug. We did fall in love with her. We did take pictures with her. And, yes, we did name her Lolly. But, she's still not ours yet. We do want her badly, but we just can't get her this time.

So, I apologize if that past entry was misleading. I do thank you for the cards and everything. At least you all have helped brighten my days! Thanks, friends!

From,
Lee Ya

I broke the very first rule to success in grad school last nite!

A little complaint...

Alright! A good friend of mine who claims to be one of the faithful readers to my blog made a little complaint today. Yes, it's Mr. David Lim! Lim Chee Siang to be exact!

He said overall my blog was okay.
Layout was fine.
Pictures were good.
Writing was okay.
He said he doesn't want to comment too much on teacher's writing.. haha!
Silly boy...

However, despite all the good stuffs that he mentioned, there is one thing that this blog is lacking (according to him)! Yes, it lacks of his name! He told me he's never seen his name mentioned anywhere in this blog! Hahaha!

So, Mr. Lim..... You're name is on!!! Congratulationssssss!!!

Fall break is over

Hmmm.... fall break is over! It's time to get back to reality!

Spent most of my fall break with my Dad! How lovely! Although it was a real short visit, it's totally worth it! One thing that is too sweet to pass was we didn't have to cook! Haha how nice! Totally pampered!

Now, I guess, back to the old days! Hmmmm.....

So, we named her Lolly..... !!!

Sang your songs
Danced your dance
Played your part
But, the scene is not mine
I'm getting off from the stage...
Have a good play!

My Kairos moment

College life.
A life that many say they would not trade for anything else.
A life that many say we can enjoy to the fullest.
A life that many say there's nothing to be worried about.
A life that many say we can always cherish.

We wake up. We go to school. We work. We study. We hang out. We have lunch at the student center. We go to class. We hang out again. We study again. We work again. We sleep. We wake up again the next day. We go to class. We work. We work again. We hang out again. We eat. We sleep again.

It seems like it's repetitious. It seems like it's so monotone. It seems like it's predicted.

If it is that way, why do I even continue schooling? I even thought of pursuing another degree after graduation. So, what is it about school life that really attracts me?

Many of my friends complain that school life is totally boring. Many claim that it's very monotone. However, I don't feel that way. I feel that my school life is very colorful. My school life is always unpredicatable. My school life is simply GREAT!

And this is what God intends to do in our lives, whether it is a working or school life. He doesn't want our lives to be boring. He doesn't want us to feel stupid. God has blessed me with so many things in so many different areas. I have wonderful brothers and sisters that I can always count on. I have great friends that are there with me. I have a great church that supports me and lifts me up in their prayers. And this is what God wants to do in your life. All you need to do is just ask God. It's just that simple. When God is involved in our life, He will direct us to His prosperous plan. It's His promise.

There were times in the past when I totally ignored God. There were times when I felt that God was unfair. There were times when I felt that going to church and fellowships are not worth it. There were times when I felt I should just get away from those church people.

Guess what? It didn't last very long. God pulled me back into His circle. And also, I felt that I've missed out on a lot of cool stuffs.

My Christian friends, I really encourage you to get connected with other fellow believers, if you haven't done so. You'll never know what God wants to do in your life. My other friends, I really encourage you to get a taste of what it is like to be connected to a group that supports you in anyway. Get a glimpse of how great your life can be when God is moving. I encourage you to give God at least a chance to fulfill His promise, coz you'll be surprised!

A song that I love the most right now!

Dunia Tanpa Lagu
by Delon

oh kasih dengar aku
hanya ada satu cinta
buka saja relung di hatimu
untuk aku yg menginginkanmu

Chorus:
andaikan saja engkau mengerti
sungguh berarti dirimu
hidup ini tanpa cintamu
bagai dunia tanpa lagu

Ending:
jangan pernah samakan diriku
dengan cintamu yg tlah lalu

Happy 1st anniverssary, the Mission!

Yeap! Today is the day! We finally made it for a year!

The Mission is not only an ordinary group for me.
This is a ministry group that is based on friendship and love...
This is the group where I learn a lot how to do ministry...
This is a group where I learn how to love on people...
This is a group where I can be the true me...
This is the group that I can call my family...
This is the group that means the world to me...

I can't belive we've been 'together' for a year. Last year, the same day, we had the first fellowship at the Fairmount tower. Guess what? Our visitor was only one. Yeap, ONE only...

However, God has been so good!
He has multiplied the people in our group...
He has shown His faithfulness in our lives and others' too...
He has blessed us with so many talented people...
In other words, He has been there with us all the time...

Now we're gonna move on to a bigger vision that God has laid in our hearts. Although I'm really sad to leave Southwind Fellowship, the church where I've been going to for about 4 years here in wichita, I know something great is about to come! And, we're excited about it! We really are... The next weeks and months are gonna be challenging for the Mission. But, we're ready! Even though we will end up with a few people for each Sunday service, I truly believe something great is gonna happen... God is working! And, He'll keep working in our lives! Thank you, Jesus! You are awesome!

I think I'm in love...
Well, wait!
I think I'm really really in love!

The past weekend was really hectic for me. Loads and loads of assignments and stuffs here and there that needed to be done. I was tired and 'sick.' But, the good thing is I finally got a chance to catch up with some sleeps yesterday and today... I'm now fully recharged and refreshed! Yeah!

We did a table display for The Mission yesterday at the RSC handing out some flyers. I'm thankful that I could be there the whole time and watched people pass by. As I was sitting there, I thought and looked back at my life, I can testify that I'm really blessed! I really feel that I am. Yes, I do have the ups and downs in my life. And sometimes I feel that my problems will never have the solution. Everybody experiences the same thing, I'm sure!

But one thing that I realize, God's love for me never fails.
God never said when you follow me, everything will be bright and beautiful all the time. But He sure said that everything happens for a reason. And He promised that everything will be beautiful in the end. He promised that He has a wonderful plan for each of us.

He knows our past. Even if we think that our past is too dark, He said it's okay, I love you. He knows our present. He understands what we're going through. He knows whatever we think about even before we open our mouth and say it. And when we say, "God, I don't deserve You because I'm such a bad person" He says, "That's fine! I still love you! That's why I died on the cross! It's for your sins." He knows our future. He knows what kind of job we're gonna have. He knows where we're gonna be located in the next two years, five years, 10 years or even 25 years! He knows everything.

When I felt my world was falling apart, when I felt that I don't have anything to hold so that I can stand still, when I felt that I was only by myself,
God has always been there for me.
He gave me His hands so that I can hold on to Him.
He carried me so that I won't fall.
He guided me and gave me direction so that I won't be lost.
He looks at me deep in my eyes and assures me that He loves me always and forever no matter what.

Yes, I always feel His love in my life. But yesterday and today, it's becoming more and more real. All I can say right now is I'm amazed by His unconditional love. And, I love Him more! Yes, much more! I can't wait to see what He's going to do in my life. And, I'm ready! I wouldn't trade Him for anything in this world. Not for anything!

"The simplest of all love songs, I want to bring to You

So, I'll let my words be few

Jesus, I am so in love with You"

from: Let my words be few

Phillips Craig and Dean

Lee Ya is homesick!

It's been about one month and 11 days since I'm back here in Wichita...
You probably think that, Oh! You've just been here for a month and you already miss home? Ridiculous? haha! But, it's true! Lee Ya is truly homesick!

Miss mommy's cooking...
Miss my little princess, Joy...
Miss those chit chat times with my girlfriends...
Miss relaxing at home...
Miss being driven around...
Miss buying good food on the street...
Miss the busyness of Jakarta...
Miss the praise and worship at JPCC...
Bottom line, I miss being home....

I chatted with one of my highschool friends this morning. He mentioned about the bird's flu that's going around again in Indonesia... I guess I have a flu too today... But, it's a HOME flu!
Anybody has the medicine for me??

Anyway, here's some pics taken when I was in Bandung last summer...

Buying Durian Ice Cream on the street in Bandung

Eating Durian Ice Cream on the street in Bandung

Kansas State Fair...

Went to the state fair today after we got home from church... Had lotsa fun there, except for one thing! I GOT TANNED! It was really hot today and I don't think my sunblock did a good job in 'blocking' the sun! Mannn... I need a whitening cream!!!

Anyways, ate lots and lots of fair's food also there! We went with limited budget, but that's what made it really fun! When we wanted to buy anything to eat, everyone just chipped in their quarters, dimes and pennies! This is what you really call friends! hahaha! Friends when we are happy, and friends when we are in need! And obviously, we were all in need, coz we were all hungry....

We passed by all the rides.. And one ride really stood out to me! Yeap! It's the Ferris Wheel! This is the ride that I love the most since I was really young! That ride really reminded me of one episode from the TV series "The OC" that was aired two summers ago... One sweet episode that always makes me smile! Haha! Yeap! It's when Marissa asked Ryan to go ride the Ferris Wheel.... Ryan is scared of height, but he still went and rode with her with his eyes closed the whole time (haha!), just because he knew Marissa loves it...

And here comes the best part! When they were supposed to get off the wheel and Marissa was actually getting ready to go down, he gave money to the ride's operator STILL with his eyes closed (due to his fear.. haha!) and said, "One more time!" So, they went for another round! Aaaawwwwwhhhhhh...... that's so sweet, Ryan!!

Thoughts after thoughts....

Hmmm... been doing lots and lots of thinking for the past few weeks.. Yeah, i meant lots! I got to the point where I told myself, okay! Gotta sort through every thought one by one... So, I started listing everything that I've been thinking about... and if you want to go down the list, hahah! You don't wanna know how many numbers I had!

Then, being a communication major student who just took her research method class last fall, I decided to find the emergent themes from all the thoughts that I have... Yeah! I did a content analysis of what's been running on my mind! Wow! I'm sure Dr. Dooley will be very very proud of me, if she reads my blog! I can't even believe myself that I'm actually putting what I have learned into practice! Wow! I'm still amazed...

Anyway, I guess all students really face this tough situation when they are about to graduate. "WHAT'S NEXT?" Am I right? We get that question a lot from friends, family, relatives or even other people in general.... So yeah, that's the first emergent theme that I got from the list. Then, second, WHERE? Am I gonna be home or here in the US after graduation? And it is in the US, is it gonna be here in Wichita or somewhere else? West coast or east coast? This is really tough! As much as I love my friends and family here in Wichita, I do love the place where I was born and where I grew up that I can always call HOME to death... Yes, home where you feel that you do belong there....

As I thought and prayed about all these, I'm very grateful to always know that God has a wonderful plan for me. He has reserved the right job and the right place where I should be at.... A very very close friend of mine (who is a buddy to me too) 'woke me up' and reminded me that when a person still has the chance to choose from different options, he or she should be thankful. Some people are stuck with the situation that they have. They can't go anywhere, because they don't have the luxury to choose which path to go for their lives. And I thought, "This is very true!" What an eye opening thought for me!

All these made me realize that God loves me so much that He has blessed me with so many wonderful people in my life that I can really count on. My parents who are always there for me and support whatever I decide in mylife. They actually offer their perspectives too, which is great! My sisters who are always here with me... My buddy, Jasmine, who always encourages me during my grad school life... My brothers at the Mission who always help me when me and my sisters are in need, pray for me when I face difficult times and pick me up when I'm down with their crazy jokes and their 'stupidity' haha! My girlfriends back home that always send those funny emails to keep me updated.... (Gosh, I miss them so much!) My church families for their love and caring... Without these people in my life I don't think I'm gonna make it this far... (Man, I feel like I'm giving an acceptance speech at the grammy award or something! :p)

So in conclusion (I always teach my students to give a signal when they are about to end their speeches), after weeks and weeks full of thinking, I know what I really want to do now! I'll sure enjoy these last 8 months before graduation to the fullest! So, Jakarta (at least for now), you are next!

Buhbye summer...

"Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone..."

-Duke "The Notebook"

I wanna go homeeeeeeeee!!!!!