Follow Me, Lee Ya!

Wow, Lord! I'm so overwhelmed with Your grace! Been listening to this song called "God of All Creation" by Hillsong United over and over again at work, in my car, or anywhere I can listen to my music since Monday. This is really a song that I can relate to right now.

I'm totally abandoned to You
I'm lost inside the rivers of Your love
I'm swept into the power of Your presence
Drawn toward the whisper of Your voice

I come to You in quiet adoration
And fall before Your feet You are my King
I'm living for the beauty of Your Presence
To behold the glory of Your face

This is so real right now to me. God has spoken to me in His magnificent ways these few days. Just when I need it the most, He really wraps His arms around me, comforts me with His Word and picks me up from the ground.

On Sunday, He promised me through Psalm 34 that He is always close to me. He promised me that He even will guard my bones that none of them will be broken. I finally gave up, washed my hands from all these, and let Him take over.

On Monday, He really showed me that He, indeed, TAKES OVER. I was on my last chapter of John for my devotional that night and God reminded me again how He asked Peter three times, whether he loves Him. Peter, of course, said yes.

I totally felt like God was asking me again, "Lee Ya, do you love Me?" I felt moved, uneasy, uncomfortable with that question. At the back of my mind I was like "Yeah, God? What are You talking about?"

The second time He asked, my heart was really stirred.

The third time, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was balling really hard as I read the passage. I felt so convicted. I felt like I've cheated Him all along. When I said, "I love You, Lord," did I really mean what I said? Did I say it with all my heart? Or, did I just pray with ignorance thinking that yeah, I love Him?

At the end, He said "Follow Me!" And right at that moment, I know. I just know the answer to my big question all this while. God is really telling me that it's really not for me to know what He is up to with my situation. I somehow felt like Peter when he asked God what's going to happen with John when he died? And God answered him, "..... what is that to you? You must follow Me." I could really identify with Peter. I'm very nosy as a person. I want to know about everything. Most of my friends said I'm very detailed. But God was telling me that it's really not my business. All I have to do is follow Him.

My God is a great God with a great mind and a great plan. The Holy Spirit is just so real. He's so real that I'm now just lost in His love. I'm totally in awe.

He challenged me with one big question, "Do you love Me enough to trust in me and follow Me even when you don't know where I'm taking you?"

Yes, Lord! I love You. I love You enough to trust my life in You. I love You enough to let You take over my life. I love You enough to let You be my navigator. I love You enough to give You the freedom to work in my life however You want it to be. Let my life be Yours and You be the reason I live. Amen.

longing for You...

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He guards all his bones;
Not one of them is broken.
Evil shall stay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trusts in Him shall be condemned. "
Psalm 34:18-22 NKJV

I came across this passage again last night as I spent time with Him.
I know I serve a great and mighty God.
He is definetely a very present help in time of need.

"My soul longs for You, Lord. Nothing else will do. I seek Your face; I seek Your hand; I seek Your strength; I seek Your wisdom. I lift both my hands up. Father, take over and be the reason that I live. All I need is You. Amen"

a merry little christmas for miss amelia...

Wow! Was today busy or what? I was frantically working on next year's departmental budget with my office's door closed. Doing budget is really something that a lot of people - including me!- don't like! This is really the time of the year when everything is just due! But you know what! I thank God for those! Because that means I have a job! Isn't He great!

Today was really my 'running around day.' Went out with the girls after work and didn't get home till about 9:40ish... Baby wasn't happy at all... She really gave me that look! It's just funny how dogs get to "rule" in the house...

Despite the running around thing today, today is actually a fabolous day for Miss Amelia! Christmas invitations keep coming; and boy, I'm booked up for Christmas!

I was actually a little down since last night knowing the fact that my sisters are headed home this weekend and my girlfriend Jasmine is too! It seems like everyone is going home for Christmas. I'm feeling a bit homesick!

But, God -once again- proves to me His unfailing promise! He said He'll never leave me or forsake me! And He gave other fellow believers that are very gracious to offer me their homes to spend Christmas at! Am I still homesick? Yeah... But, am I blessed? Absolutely! All I can say is thank You, Lord!

And once again I look upon the Cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life! (Matt Redman)

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

This is my mom - a woman that I deeply love, respect and honor.....
She is a true illustration of Proverbs 31.
Happy Birthday, mom!
Hope three of us make you proud as a mom!

From a grateful heart...

The girls came from Wichita today. I really had a great time with them strolling the city market, eating vietnamese food and just enjoying each other's company. I thought, "hey, it's gonna be a relaxing weekend!"

It wasn't 'till later today - through a very casual conversation, while waiting for the three girls going to the restroom - when I found out that M was headed home for good next week. I was surprised!

I began to feel disturbed. I knew she was seeking God all along. After doing a series of investigations today through the other girls, I also found out that she had been bitter with God. When God is faithful, why did she have to experience the loss of her parents? This question stuck in her mind all the time.

After our little dessert time at Cheesecake Factory today, I was praying hard. I told God that this girl cannot leave the country without Jesus. I just cannot imagine that.

So, I prayed for boldness.
So, I prayed for courage.
So, I prayed for God's will to be done.

We, then, went to IHOP (International House of Prayer). I just "happened" to sit by her. The other girls were praying. I was flipping my bible's pages looking for verses to show her. I was praying hard. Somehow I knew I had to do something about it. But then, God, how should I open the conversation? I prayed for God's wisdom and guidance.

The next thing I know, I asked her if there was anything I could pray for her. Where did that come from? A simple question, perhaps, but what took me so long to begin a conversation? I have no idea!

She began to look at me in the eye and said, "maybe pray for my finals."
I was waiting for more; but she stopped.
I thought, "Eh? Great! What should I say next?"

So, I took a deep breath and thought, "this is it, God! I'm not here to chase the rabbit. The floor is Yours" So, I asked God to take over. And, HE really did! HE did it amazingly!

She finally accepted the Lord today! She thought she had accepted Him when she was young. I went over the plan of salvation again with her today. She, then, learned that she has never prayed the prayer to invite Him to her heart. God gave me the privilege to lead her to Him today.

She did ask me why God had to take her parents away from her.
I told her I don't know.
I told her I don't have the answer for that.

All I know is that God is sovereign.
All I know is that God let this happened to her for a reason.
All I know is that everything will be beautiful in the end.
All I know is we have hope.
And, all I know is God's name will be glorified through these sufferings and hardships.

I told her that God never said that life is going to be easy; but for us Christians, He promised that He will never leave us alone.

I shared with her my favorite verse from Romans 8:28 "And all things work together for good for those who love Him and those who are called according to His purpose." I shared with her my experience living on my own in Kansas City and how it's sometimes hard.

She finally nodded and held my hand.

What a wonderful time we had with her!
What a fruitful trip they have!
What a mighty God we serve!

And Father, this is what I pray.....

My father I adore You more than
anything my heart could wish for
I just want You

And Jesus my beloved savior
Everything I am I owe to You
I owe it all to You

And angels come and adore You
And we Your children worship You

You are my world
You are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord
The one I love
No one could ever take Your place

And everything I have I give to You
My Lord, the One I live for
I live for You
And all my days are gifts from You
I pray I'd use them as You want me to
Use them for You
(Hillsong Australia)