My heart and thoughts go for Mr. Joey....

We did some rearrangement of the apartment today. Exchanged the loveseat with a bigger sofa. As we did all those cleaning and organizing, all those really remind us of our precious 'lil man, Joey... He used to hide underneath the loveseat everytime we chased him or everytime we vacuumed the apartment. That's just his hiding place.. He also used that to play PEEK-A-BOO with us... Often times, he sat with me and just kept me a company... It's so sad to see him go..


About seven months ago, we were faced with a very tough decision. Joey was diagnosed with a portosystemic shunt disease. As foreign as it sounds to all of you, it did to us too. I couldn't believe that my own precious baby was diagnozed with a disease that killed. Options were laid out on the table for the three of us. First, is to put him on a surgery. If we had decided to do that, the nearest towns we could go were Stillwater, OK or Manhattan, KS. Although it costed a lot, the vet did say, she would not guarantee that he could survive because he's just to young to expereince that surgery. Bottom line, he could go away at that very moment. Second option was simply not doing anything with it. The vet said he probably could survive for another 5 years. But, it also didnt close the probability that we could lose him before that 5 years.

I did lots and lots of research and crying knowing that any treatment option could be wrong for him. Prayed for him. And tried to take care of him the best I could. I wanted so much to know what decision was best for him. Today, I really wish that I was given that choices again. It didn't mean I would know the answer to my choice today or choose the complete opposite option to what we decided. But, simply knowing that Joey would still be here with us...



Joey was our first dog that we really took care... But I know that as a very little pug who was only five months old, Joey fought bravely to live.. I also believe that Joey had been through so much and was just too exhausted to keep fighting... Joey passed away about six months ago (June 27, 2005), one month after he was diagnosed with the disease...

Four months being with Joey was definetely too short for me... But in that four months, Joey brought lotsa joy, love, laughters and of course beautiful memories to the three of us... Even all of his funny actions are still vivid in my mind...



"I wish I could go through all that frustration and worrying again.
Because it would mean you were still here.
Mommy misses you, Joey."

Love this song...

"Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid ..."

"If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one "

The Mission's Core Team Members Retreat

Remember the entry that I posted titled "An Awakening Weekend?" Here's some pictures taken during the free time at the retreat...



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After all those snow fights, the girls were exhausted! Once we found a comfy sofa, we're gone! Yes, within that second! But apparently, some people were still up for no good!!

We just want to wish you a blessed Christmas!

May the joy, peace and hope be with you as we celebrate this wonderful day!
God bless you in everything you do!

From:
The Hendra sisters

The Mission's Christmas Celebration

Somehow I'm really looking forward to May 2006....

An awakening weekend...

Just got back from a retreat in Salina a 'lil bit ago. I think the retreat went well overall... It's supposed to be a retreat to sharpen our vision as individuals and as a church... The sessions spoke to me specially the 2nd part about Vision Intention Means.. We all can have great visions for life but without Intention (the doing part), the visions mean nothing...

I started having all kinds of feelings and excitements that I really want to devote myself to The Mission for the last six months I'm here in Wichita. I don't know where God's going to move me after that. Although it doesnt close the door that He may want me to stay here for a 'lil longer than I thought....

When I listened to the sessions, I really had mixed feelings... In one way, I was very excited about what God has planned for the Mission.. I even prayed, You know what God? I'm game for anything You want me to do! Just show me! But on the other hand, I was sad when I looked at my brothers and sisters as we sat at the table and listened to the message. I can only enjoy being around these people for another six months only! Boy, that's too fast!

But then, when we got to the last session, my mixed feelings turned to be a sadness. Pure sadness... We talked about the means that we shall take for the Mission... At that moment, I started to realize that we may not share the same vision all along... It doesnt mean that it is bad.. Not at all... And it's so true what my brothers said that our ministry should glorify God not ourselves. We should follow what God wants not what we want... I completely agree with that. And I totally agree with all the definitions of church and everything as explained during the retreat. I have nothing against that... Because those are true and very biblical....

During the trip coming back home, I started to think about a lot of stuffs... and all these problems that I'm feeling may just be because it's me... I am not saying I want to follow what I want rather than what God wants... But the traditions and the rituals that I have engaged in for the past twenty something years have just been internalized in me...

I'm sure it would be very selfish for me to say what we should do.. Because that means we're not following God's will as a church... However, I also think that I will not glorify God if I follow that vision because I'm not pleasing God in my life, rather, I will be pleasing my dearest friends....

I hope you all will pray for this as we go through some changes.. that the Mission will follow God's will no matter what it is.. and that I will follow God's will and vision in my life, even if it is different than the rest of them....

Father, I need the strength and courage to carry this on...
Father, lead me to Your righteousness..
Father, show me Your awesome power more and more in my life..
Father, hold me close to You so that I can hold on to You...
Father, without You by my side, I'm hopeless...
All my days are gifts from You..
I pray that you give me the wisdom that I use my days according to Your plan...
That I use them as You want me to...
Thank you, Father for holding my life in Your hands...


This is my life I surrender
by True Worshipper

"You've opened up my eyes to see You, Lord
You've turned my life around in righteousness
There is nothing more precious than to be in Your presence
And to see You by my side

This is my life, I surrender before Your throne
I bend my knees, I surrender to worship You
I lift my voice to sing Your praises
Be magnified and be glorified today..."

Our christmas tree is up!!

Yay!! Our Christmas tree is up!! Thanks to Cuyang for the wonderful tree! I love it!! This Christmas tree has lights inside, so I don't need to get extra lights. It spins!! Hohoho!! And guess what! It sings too!! Hahaha! I guess, the three girls are gonna start singing our Christmas carols!!

Craming...

It's 2 minutes before 3 a.m. and I'm still up. I'm pulling my hair now! I'm such a procrastinator. Should've listened to my parents and my buddy since long time ago. Craming for GRE is not fun at all! How am I gonna eat up thousands of giant words in 9 days? Goodness! I'm so nervous....

By the end if this year, I'll be bold! I think I need to shop for some wigs now. Any suggestion in terms of style? Maybe I should try short hair.. hmmmm.... *thinking*

Oh, I promised someone!

Yeah, I promised someone last Thursday nite.. We were talking about things that we need to enjoy for the next few months due to the uncertainty of international students' lives after graduation... Okay, lets put it this way... What are the things that we should enjoy while we're still here in America....

And I promised my friend that I will list those on my blog.
Okay, you! Yes, you!! You know I'm talking to you!!
So, here's for you...

1. Scraping the ice on the car during winter
2. Wearing those puffy jackets
3. T-Mobile to T-Mobile free
4. 500 text messages per month
5. Sitting at the RSC to chit-chat
6. Weather reports
7. Flying and receiving "aeroplanes"
8. Driving on the right lane

Hey, I don't remember the rest laaa.... Too much laughing that time! That's the best I can do... Didn't mean to fly "aeroplane," coz it was supposed to be on here by Friday.. At least I try lah! Happy or not?? 3 more months ehhhh...... Haha!

I am so done!

After not making noise for quite sometimes, I am proud to say that I am totally done for this semester. Well, not quite! I still have to hand in my final project and take home exam to Bonnie this Wednesday. But I got it done last weekend and they are turned in as participation points only. In other words, you get credits as you turn them in. So, I am basically done! Done with all my course works for this degree. All I have left is my thesis hours which I'm sure will be a ton more interesting than those media buying stuffs. I still don't understand why I enrolled in that course until now... Hmmm, but that's okay. People learn from mistakes....

So, what do I have now? Hahaha! I have a big fat list that I need to do over the next few weeks. Interesting!
1. GRE (preparation + the actual test)
2. Going to library for my thesis lit review
3. Appointments after appointments with my dearest Dr. Dooley -- Don't get me wrong! She's an extremely nice lady. I really like her. I just don't like the idea that I'll be writing my thesis during the break... :(
4. Reorganize my notes and everything that I need for COMPS
5. And some other obligations that I've agreed to do...

Those lists may be big for me. But, as I saw people graduated yesterday at the Koch Arena, I'm sure I can't even express the satisfaction and happiness when I walk across that very stage in May. I really can't wait for that moment to come. But then, I still have to pass my thesis defense and COMPS. Oh GOD! Isn't it very painful when you dream dream dream then your dream got snatched away for a moment because you just realize that you'll never get there before you pass the big huge giant test?

Mannn, next semester is gonna be another interesting one....

I miss my baby Joey...